9-1-1 Kenneth Choi is having as much trouble mourning Bobby Nash’s death as his character Howie “Chimney” Han is.

The actor got choked up during a recent interview with Entertainment Weekly surrounding the loss of Peter Krause‘s character on the hit ABC drama, revealing that he could not believe Bobby’s fate once he heard the news from series co-creator and showrunner Tim Minear.

“As soon as he said the words, I just waited and waited, because Tim has a very wry sense of humor, and I was just waiting for him to say ‘I’m just fucking with you, just kidding,’ and those words never came,” he recalled. “There was this long period of silence and I said, ‘Are you serious?’ And he said, ‘I’m serious, yeah.’”

Choi explained that he then “kind of went into those stages of grief,” particularly “denial,” continuing to ask why Minear would kill off the show’s “father figure.”

“[Minear] explained creatively why he thought it was the right choice, and I fought him on it,” he revealed. “And I continued to fight him on it. I fought him on it up until we kind of did the funeral stuff, because I was thinking, Maybe they’ll pull it back. Maybe they’ll change their minds. Maybe they’ll reverse course. But…yeah.”

For those who have not watched last week’s disheartening installment, “Lab Rats” — or for those who have somehow avoided the outcries from fans online still heartbroken over the news — Krause’s Bobby Nash gets exposed to a deadly virus, but sacrifices the last dose of the antiviral to Chimney (Choi).

Choi told EW that Chimney “is devastated,” and “is completely reeling” from this loss, especially due to Bobby’s sacrifice for him.

Minear told Deadline that the decision for 9-1-1 to bid farewell to Krause’s character was “100% creative,” explaining that he “had been toying with the idea for a couple of seasons actually, maybe even longer, feeling like at some point [he’s] going to have to do this.”

Choi was one of several 9-1-1 stars to share social media tributes honoring Krause following last week’s catastrophic episode.

“Peter Krause, you are the classiest guy, the most talented of actors, and the loveliest human being,” Choi wrote on Instagram. “THANK YOU, PK. Love You Pal. ❤️”

In a pre-recorded segment for Good Morning America on Friday (April 18), Krause said that he “will miss everybody dearly,” noting that “this was [his] workplace, for eight years, eight seasons.” An emotional letter from Krause was also published in Deadline on Thursday night (April 17), in which he thanked his cast and crew for the “wild adventure” working together on the show.