Mahershala Ali is speaking candidly about the emotional compromises of raising a child while building a demanding career.
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In a new interview with GQ, the two-time Oscar winner discussed parenting his only child, 9-year-old daughter Bari, while working on projects that can keep him away from home for months.
“I do the best that I can,” Ali said. He hopes Bari will one day look back and think, “I had an amazing dad,” but acknowledged that he often questions whether he is getting everything right.
Ali and his wife, Amatus Sami-Karim, make an effort to remain together as a family whenever circumstances allow. Because Ali is working on the East Coast, Bari is spending a semester attending school there.
The arrangement was not possible during production of Jurassic World Rebirth, however. Filming kept Ali separated from his wife and daughter for roughly five months.
“That didn’t feel good,” he recalled. “It felt hard because we were on the other side of the world just missing each other.”
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The time difference added another layer of difficulty. When Bari was starting her day, Ali was often preparing to sleep—and when he was awake, she was frequently in bed.
Even so, Ali believes his daughter recognizes how hard he is trying to remain present.
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“I know she sees me trying and she gives me credit for that,” he said.
He became visibly emotional while remembering a moment when Bari wanted more time with him, but his work obligations came first.
“I remember saying, ‘Oh, I’m so sorry, I have to go to work.’ And she’s crying and she goes, ‘Oh, it’s not your fault.’”
The recollection moved Ali to tears.
“That’s the best I can say without getting too choked up,” he said, pausing to ask for a moment and a tissue.Embed from Getty Images
As Bari grows older, Ali said her increasing ability to put complex emotions into words has made those conversations especially powerful for him.
“Once they start getting older and they got that language to really say, ‘This is how I’m feeling,’” he explained, those words can “cut deep.”
Ali also reflected on his own upbringing and considered whether fatherhood has changed his understanding of his relationship with his dad.
His father worked in New York’s entertainment industry while Ali was raised on the West Coast, and Ali remembers wishing at times that his dad could have been closer.
“I think it has made me grateful for the iteration of fatherhood that perhaps my daughter is experiencing,” he said. “And even that I question, is it enough sometime, you know? And I’m trying to do the best that I can.”