Tamra Judge is ready to explain her decision to briefly quit The Real Housewives of Orange County.

“Going into filming, Teddi Mellencamp had just gotten diagnosed [with brain cancer],” Tamra, 57, exclusively shared with Us Weekly while attending Alexis Bellino’s bridal shower on Saturday, August 16. “I think people don’t understand the other side of cancer. When your friends or your family member or somebody is diagnosed, you don’t know what’s gonna happen. When someone says you have stage four brain cancer — you’re having brain tumors removed from your head — it’s scary as hell.”

Tamra said she was “devastated” to see her friend suffering in pain and discomfort. As a result, she “wasn’t eating or sleeping.”

“I would have to take Xanax to even cope during the day without crying,” Tamra revealed. “I was wasting away. I was down to, like, 108 pounds.”

Bravo has not yet announced season 2 of Next Gen NYC, but if it happens, there’s a good chance Tamra Judge’s daughter Sophia Barney will be around for it. Barney, 19, appeared alongside her mom on the Wednesday, August 6, episode of “The Viall Files,” where she revealed she would “possibly” be interested in Next […]

In addition to filming season 19 of The Real Housewives of Orange County, Tamra found herself working too hard on various projects, including her iHeartRadio “Two T’s in a Pod” podcast, which records multiple episodes a week.

When the cast came together for a trip to New Orleans, Tamra said she reached her breaking point.

“It was such a painful time in my life, and I just didn’t want to relive it,” she said when asked if she watched the August 14 episode when she walked out of a group dinner and proclaimed to be done with the show. “I had a few drinks and I had a Xanax, and it was the worst thing I could have done. I just decided this isn’t for me right now. I can’t do this anymore. And I left.”

While the season trailer indicates Tamra will return later this season, the reality star said a break from filming helped her focus on herself.

“Everybody was calling me. Andy [Cohen] was calling me. [Executive producer] Alex [Baskin] was calling me. They asked me to please take a week off,” Tamra said. “They said, ‘We know how much stress you’re under, and I want you to take a week off. Come back to us in a week, and if you still want to quit, we respect where you’re at in your life and everything that’s going on.’ They were very nice to me, very kind to me about that.”

Some people, Tamra says, who may not have been so kind are her costars. While she says longtime friend Heather Dubrow was compassionate, Tamra questions some of the reactions from other coworkers.

“I’m not asking for grace. I’m not asking for people to feel sorry for me but I’m a human,” she said. “I might seem tough but it doesn’t mean I don’t have any feelings. To see people like Emily [Simpson] and Gina [Kirschenheiter] say the things they said about me and not have any compassion? Honestly, Heather’s the only one that truly had any compassion whatsoever for me.”

As for why she wanted to get back to filming after a break, Tamra said Teddi, 44, was the friend who encouraged her to go back and finish her commitment.

“I am a person that gives 100 percent in everything I do, and when it came to the show, I wasn’t given 100 percent,” she said. “You wouldn’t know that, because every story line is about me.”

While Tamra continues to support Teddi and applauds her “strength,” she’s also showing up for her close friend Alexis, 48.

Although the pair aren’t filming together for season 19, Tamra said she has stayed in touch with her friend and didn’t hesitate to attend her bridal shower at Truly Blessed Jewels in Newport Beach, California.

“I think it’s pure love,” Tamra said about Alexis’ relationship with John Janssen. “I think John gets a bad rap. I think that people don’t know John was a single dad raising kids and has not been married since his ex-wife and he met Alexis, he knew immediately that he wanted to get married. When you know, you know.”

The Real Housewives of Orange County airs on Bravo Thursdays at 8 p.m. ET. Stream old episodes anytime on Peacock.