Saturday Night Live kicked off in the Oval Office this week, where Donald Trump (James Austin Johnson) sat beside Stephen Miller (Mikey Day) and rattled off a ridiculous list of executive orders.

One of the first? A move to “make it socially acceptable for a man in his 70s to date a 24 year old.”

“We’re calling it the Belichick law,” Trump said. “We’re going to make girlfriends young again, OK. Old men can now date far younger women.”

He doubled down: “We like that. It’s hot. But in reverse, it’s quite disgusting, right?”

The joke hit on real-life headlines about 73-year-old UNC football coach Bill Belichick and his 24-year-old girlfriend, Jordon Hudson.

The sketch leaned hard into Trump-world absurdity. Trump bragged about signing 147 executive orders so far — including ones to “ban paper straws” and “defund PBS.”

“I understand Elmo has now been apprehended by ICE brought to you by the letter L for El Salvador,” Trump said. “He’s not coming back.”

Next came Stephen Miller, introduced as “lord of the shadows,” with Day playing him like a haunted Victorian doll.

Some orders veered close to real-life policy. One targeted interracial couples in commercials — a dark dig at actual moves by Trump’s FCC chair to investigate media companies over DEI initiatives.

“It’s just too many, right?” Trump said. “You see them in the kitchen together making a meal from Hello Fresh. She’s got tight braids. You’re like, Where’d they meet, you know? What do they even talk about. It’s insane.”

Marco Rubio (Marcello Hernandez) made a cameo as Trump banned Hispanic babies from getting their ears pierced.

“I mean, we got grown white American tweens trying to get into Claire’s, and they gotta wait behind a thousand tiny Latina babies to get their ears pierced,” Trump complained.

The sketch closed with Trump rebranding “recession” as “recess.”

“Recession will now be called recess. Fun, right? So America, get ready for a historically long recess.”

You can watch the full sketch above.