Kate Middleton and Meghan Markle started out with a friendly relationship, but after things between their husbands turned so sour, Kate and Meghan’s relationship fell off track — and never got back on. However, the two women had one very important thing in common: They were both married-in members of the British royal family and two of the most famous women in the world.

Still, royal life worked for one but not the other, and it all comes down to one personality trait. Here’s why Kate made it work — but not Meghan.

Meghan Markle fought against the things she disagreed with

Harry and Meghan weren’t your typical royal couple. They were much more vocal and more opinionated; Meghan didn’t want to play by the rules, but it wasn’t necessarily because she was difficult. Rather, it was likely because she had always stood up for things she didn’t think were fair or that didn’t make sense — and many of the royal rules fell into this category.

Royal expert Tom Quinn suggested that some people can “cope” with everything that comes at them in the royal family. “Kate Middleton is perhaps the supreme example,” he said. Where Meghan wanted to stand her ground, Kate was more willing to comply or go with the flow. Neither is necessarily a negative, but it did make for two very different handlings of royal life. “Others try to fight back, which is what Meghan clearly did,” Quinn wrote, according to Express.

A former staff member told Quinn that Meghan “was a fighter” (in a good way) and that she wanted to “change the status quo.” However, it’s clear that Meghan’s desire to do so was met with conflict, and it ultimately resulted in her leaving the royal family.

Kate, on the other hand, didn’t put up that same fight. Maybe she didn’t want to, or maybe she felt it wasn’t worth it. Either way, Kate and Meghan’s different approach for handling the royal rules is the reason that Kate is still a working royal and Meghan isn’t.

Meghan Markle and Kate Middleton joined the royal family at different times

One possibility for the women’s different handlings of royal life could be the age each was when she was introduced to the royal family. Kate and William started dating in college, so she never experienced an adulthood outside of the royal spotlight. Meghan, on the other hand, was in her mid-30s when she met the prince. By then, she had built a life for herself and had become a confident, independent woman accustomed to making her own decisions.

The difference could be that Meghan didn’t want to give up that freedom, but Kate never knew it to begin with.