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TAMPA, Fla. (BLOOM) — A stray comment, a bad smell, or a misplaced phone, when it comes to intimacy, the smallest misstep can quickly turn the heat down.
As “relationship icks” continue to trend on social media, one expert says it’s no surprise that the bedroom is filled with unspoken turn-offs that leave couples disconnected and frustrated.
“The things that turn us off during intimate moments often go undiscussed,” said Alexa Johnston, a sex and relationship expert at Just, an Australian retailer for intimate products. “But understanding these common turn-offs can actually strengthen your connection and lead to more satisfying experiences.”
Johnston shared with Bloom Tampa Bay the top seven bedroom “icks” that can derail intimacy, along with advice on how to avoid them.
1. Surprise Hygiene Issues
Unexpected odors or visible lack of cleanliness are consistently the top complaints, Johnston said.
“Basic hygiene seems obvious, but many people are too awkward to bring it up,” she said. “A quick shower before sex isn’t just considerate, it’s essential.”
2. Awkward Bodily Functions
Bodies are bodies—but even natural noises can kill the mood if not handled with grace.
“Queefing, stomach gurgles, unexpected sounds—these things happen,” Johnston said. “The best move is to laugh, acknowledge it, and move on.”
3. Overacting or Fake Moaning
Performative behavior that mimics adult films often creates more distance than desire.
“Authenticity is sexy,” Johnston said. “When someone’s reactions feel fake, it can make their partner second-guess everything.”
4. The Silent Treatment
On the flip side, complete silence can be just as damaging.
“Some form of feedback—verbal or nonverbal—is important. Total quiet can feel cold or even discouraging,” she said.
5. Surprise Moves or Name-Calling
Introducing new elements—especially aggressive ones—without prior discussion is a major red flag.
“From dirty talk to new positions, springing something on your partner without checking in first can ruin trust in an instant,” Johnston said.
6. Phone Distractions
Few things say “you’re not a priority” like checking a text mid-romp.
“Put your phone away. Better yet, leave it in another room,” Johnston advised.
7. The Rush Job
Racing to the finish line without enjoying the moment leaves both people feeling unfulfilled.
“When sex feels like a chore to cross off a list, nobody wins,” she said. “Take your time. Make it count.”
Johnston emphasized that open communication—especially outside of the bedroom—is key to navigating these issues.
“Most couples talk about what they want in bed, but not what they don’t want,” she said. “That silence leads to missteps that could have been avoided with one honest conversation.”
For those struggling to bring up awkward topics, Johnston recommends starting by highlighting something positive, then gently offering a suggestion to improve the experience.
“When both people feel respected and heard, better sex naturally follows.”
For more information, visit Just.

