A 22-year-old Australian finance worker has challenged an older man after he made an unsolicited remark about her appearance following a LinkedIn connection.
Coco Pickering, who works in business banking, had only recently connected with the man on the professional networking site when he sent her a message that initially seemed entirely routine.
After saying it was “great to connect” and that he hoped they would keep in touch, however, the exchange unexpectedly became personal.
“And on a totally different note, may I just say what a beautiful lady you are,” he wrote.
The unsolicited compliment left Coco immediately feeling uncomfortable.
She replied to the man before posting the exchange on LinkedIn. The message resonated with hundreds of professionals, many of whom applauded her for addressing it, although some argued that she should simply have ignored the comment.
Speaking to the Daily Mail, Coco said the interaction made her feel both angry and disappointed.
“I felt uncomfortable [because] LinkedIn is a professional platform where people are trying to build their careers, make connections and grow their networks,” she said.
Finance worker Coco Pickering, 22 (pictured), challenged an older man’s unsolicited comment about her appearance on LinkedIn, prompting hundreds of professionals to share similar experiences
“I’ve worked really hard to build a career for myself, particularly without having a university degree, so for a conversation that began professionally to suddenly turn into a comment about my appearance felt really undermining.”
The man’s apparent age and greater professional experience made the exchange even more unsettling for Coco.
She said it was particularly disappointing to receive the comment from someone considerably older, with far more life and workplace experience, who she believed should have recognised the boundary.
In her reply, Coco noted that the man’s LinkedIn profile indicated he had been working professionally since 2002—meaning his career had lasted longer than she had been alive.
She told him she was shocked to have to explain to someone with so much experience that commenting on a young woman’s appearance was inappropriate on LinkedIn.
Coco said her aim was not to publicly humiliate him, but to encourage a wider discussion about appropriate behaviour in professional settings.
“Women should be able to use LinkedIn to network, build careers and make professional connections without having to deal with unwanted comments about their appearance,” she wrote.
“If the intention is to flirt or pursue a romantic connection, there are platforms designed for that. LinkedIn is not one of them.”
Coco had only just connected with the man on LinkedIn when he sent a message that initially appeared routine. But after saying it was “great to connect”, he abruptly shifted the conversation towards her appearance
The remark immediately made Coco uncomfortable. She responded to the man before sharing the exchange on LinkedIn, where it quickly resonated with hundreds of fellow professionals
The post drew a major response, with women recounting their own uncomfortable experiences of professional conversations crossing into personal territory.
Coco acknowledged that men also came forward with similar stories.
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One woman claimed a man had repeatedly phoned her workplace and, after she refused to take his calls, eventually showed up in person.
Another LinkedIn user said they had noticed the platform becoming increasingly ‘Facebook-like’, with messages and posts drifting away from its professional purpose.
Others, however, took a different view and argued the man’s message could simply have been interpreted as a compliment.
It was the stark divide in reactions that Coco found particularly interesting.
‘Some people immediately understood why it made me uncomfortable, while others genuinely felt it was simply a compliment and that I should have said thank you and moved on.
‘There were a very small number of women who felt I should have simply taken it as a compliment, but that definitely wasn’t the overwhelming response I saw.
Coco’s post drew a huge response, with women sharing their own uncomfortable experiences of professional interactions turning personal, while several men revealed they had faced similar behaviour
‘I understand the people saying it wasn’t that bad or that I should have taken the compliment, but my question back to that would be where do we draw the line?
‘For me personally, that’s where I draw the line.’
Coco said she has experienced this behaviour online before and believes many women become accustomed to brushing off interactions that make them uncomfortable.
‘When it happens repeatedly, particularly in professional spaces, it becomes exhausting.’
But she was also struck by the number of men who shared their own experiences after she spoke out. ‘It made me realise that perhaps this conversation needs to be broader than just something women experience,’ she said.
She also noted that some older men agreed with her calling out the behaviour as well.
Among the hundreds of responses, two comments stood out to Coco in particular.
One woman told her she doubted she would have had the confidence at 22 to call out an interaction that made her uncomfortable and would instead have felt compelled to remain polite.
Coco said moving across the world alone, starting a new life and learning to trust her own judgement had helped give her the confidence to speak up.
Another woman raised concerns about what these encounters could mean for young women who are repeatedly told that building a professional network and establishing a presence on LinkedIn is essential to their careers.
Ultimately, Coco hopes the discussion encourages young professionals to feel comfortable setting their own boundaries, even when somebody else considers an interaction harmless.
‘You don’t have to wait for something to become extreme before you’re allowed to say, “Actually, I don’t think that belongs here.”
‘Professional spaces should remain professional. It really is that simple.’