I Lived in Sydney for Five Years—Here’s My Honest Take on Australia

American expat Sophia spent more than five years creating what she described as her “dream” life in Australia before unexpectedly returning to her home state of California.

While living in Sydney, she encountered several major culture shocks that took time to accept, including Australia’s tall poppy syndrome, its perceived “nanny state” culture and surprisingly cold winters.

“When life had other plans and it was time to move back, I bawled my eyes out over leaving the life I had built,” Sophia told the Daily Mail.

Like many Americans, Sophia’s early image of Australia had been shaped by Hollywood: a sun-drenched country filled with attractive surfers, koalas and beaches that could be enjoyed throughout the year. Her first winter in the country quickly changed that perception.

She soon discovered that Sydney and Melbourne can become genuinely cold. But the heavy rain and high humidity came as an even greater surprise. Sydney, she noted, receives considerably more rain each year than Seattle, a US city famous for its wet weather.

“Between the howling southerly winds and massive downpours, I ended up buying more raincoats and rain boots than I ever needed in California,” she said.

Another adjustment was Australia’s familiar “tall poppy syndrome” — the tendency to criticise, resent or cut down people who become successful or attract attention by standing out from the crowd.

Sophia said her experience in the US, particularly in cities such as Los Angeles and New York, had been very different. There, she was accustomed to an openly ambitious hustle culture in which people celebrated big goals and encouraged one another to pursue them.

“In Sydney, if you stand out too much or speak too openly about your ambitions, people may judge you or feel uncomfortable,” she explained. “I realised that blending in is valued far more in Australia than standing out.”

She also found that self-promotion was met with more suspicion in Sydney than in the US, where introducing people and supporting someone else’s ambitions are often seen as natural. However, Sophia said Australians who have travelled widely tend to be more comfortable with networking and pursuing ambitious dreams.

Australia’s so-called “nanny-state” mentality was another culture shock for the American expat.

“Australia is incredibly rule-abiding, but during COVID, I watched everyday citizens practically turn into neighbourhood hall monitors overnight,” Sophia said.

Coming from a country that places greater emphasis on individualism, she described having a stranger report her whereabouts to police as a surreal experience she would never forget.

She said that same level of vigilance could also be felt in apartment buildings. On one occasion, a neighbour reported her to Strata simply for owning a dog, despite her landlord having already granted permission.

Sophia returned to the US to be closer to her family only a few months ago, but she is already missing several aspects of her life in Sydney.

“I wish I could bring my friends back with me to the US,” she said. Although Sydney is often described as notoriously cliquey, the friendships she formed there became so important that she considers those people family and believes they will last a lifetime.

Among her favourite things about Australia were its beaches, fresh produce and the convenience of takeaway sushi. She particularly loved being able to pick up quick, uncut hand rolls from shops on almost every street corner — something she believes the US could learn from.

Sophia also praised Sydney’s world-class food scene, saying the city’s clean and safe CBD and its mix of cultures give it the feel of a truly global, cosmopolitan crossroads.

However, the one thing she doesn’t miss is the uncertainty and stress involved in trying to secure a visa pathway to permanent residency.

‘What I was least sad to leave behind was the exhausting visa grind… I definitely don’t miss the constant immigration anxiety,’ she said.

‘I truly envisioned Sydney as my forever home and pursued a Master’s degree in event management to work toward permanent residency, but the pathways for expats can be difficult and stressful.

‘Sydney will always be a really meaningful place to me, and I could absolutely see myself spending more time there. Australia will always have my heart. 

‘But for where I am in my life right now, America is home for the time being.’

It’s one of the reasons Sophia decided to move back to the US, as she faced challenges trying to secure permanent residency. As she was pregnant, she also found it tricky to navigate healthcare and access certain benefits. 

‘After going through what I experienced with mould-related health issues and then pregnancy while living abroad without the same level of security and support that I would have had at home, I realised, especially now that I have a child I’m responsible for, I need to be thoughtful about where I build my life,’ she said.

Since becoming a mum and moving back home to the US, Sophia said she’s caught herself using Aussie slang without thinking. 

‘My friends look at me like I’m crazy when I ask where to get a ‘cinnamon scroll’ instead of a cinnamon roll,’ she said.

She noticed a dramatic change in her lifestyle after relocating from the US to Sydney. 

‘Living in Sydney completely transformed how I eat,’ she said. 

‘Australian food culture taught me the beauty of fresh, quality produce. I learned that with a crisp head of lettuce, good olive oil, lemon, salt, and shallots, you have the best salad in the world.’

But the biggest lifestyle change was walking. 

‘In LA, driving is essential, and I was lucky if I got in 500 steps a day. After five years in Sydney, I became accustomed to taking public transit and hitting 10,000 to 12,000 steps daily,’ she said. 

‘I’ve kept that routine up in the US, even if looking at suburban homes during my morning walk doesn’t quite compare to the Sydney coastline. I miss the ocean terribly.

‘I really do miss the effortless walkability and transport. I loved that I could walk from Bondi to Rose Bay, hop on a scenic ferry, and be right in the heart of the CBD. 

‘Having a sparkling, clean city centre sitting right on the doorstep of gorgeous beaches is something you almost never find in the US.’

She said having a ‘sense of security’ in Australia was something she’d never take for granted.

‘In major US cities, you’re often on guard, but in Sydney, I never once felt the need to look over my shoulder, whether walking home in the evening or walking through a parking garage alone,’ she said. 

‘You don’t realise how heavy that constant mental vigilance is in America until you experience living somewhere you feel genuinely secure.’

Sophia has since penned her own novel, Salt is the Cure, the first book in her Sydney Secrets series, inspired by her real-life experiences while living in Australia.

‘During my last three years in Sydney, I organised and hosted over 50 mixers and events, and I wanted to pull back the curtain on that world,’ she said.

‘International audiences often think of Australia just for its rugged outdoors, but Sydney has a luxurious, chic, and sophisticated dining scene.’

She’s currently working on her second book in her series, Right on Time.