In Monroe County, Michigan, a father and son were fishing in Plum Creek when their dog startled a large animal nearby. The dog chased off a creature that the father described as
as big as a bear… but looked like a gorilla.”

Now the sighting has been deemed “credible,” not by the Michigan fish and game authorities, not by a field zoologist, not by any kind of scientist at all, but rather by the Bigfoot Field Researchers Organization.

Can’t possibly be any bias there, can there?

The father said they were bow fishing near Plum Creek and railroad bridges when his dogs startled something bedding in the marsh.

“I heard rustling in a tree to the left and a huge thud hitting the ground from the tree. A big heavy animal hit the ground and crouched and started moving towards me through brush,” the man’s account read.

“My dog fired off from the right of me toward the creature. The dog almost got to it but the creature shot off extremely fast through trees and brush. The dog chased the creature up the slope and over the train tracks. I then called for my dog to come back. It was as big as a bear, but it looked like a gorilla! We walked back but we heard something crunching on the ground behind us. We left!”

Here’s the thing: This wasn’t Bigfoot. Because Bigfoot doesn’t exist.

But that isn’t any obstacle for the Bigfoot Field Researchers Organization.

BFRO investigator Matthew Moneymaker said he spoke with both father and son, finding “both credible and freshly descriptive about what happened.”

Moneymaker, the co-host of Finding Bigfoot on Animal Planet, said he asked many questions about the “Class A encounter,” enough to rule out the animal being a bear. He noted deer are known to be in the area, which, apparently, are a favorite bigfoot food.

It may have been a bear. It may have been a prankster in a Bigfoot costume. But it wasn’t Bigfoot. Because Bigfoot doesn’t exist.

Here’s the thing people fail to understand about a hypothetical creature like this: There wouldn’t be just a dozen or so of them wandering around. There would have to be a population of these creatures. We’re talking hundreds of animals, maybe thousands, living in some pretty well-populated areas. It’s unlikely in the extreme that one wouldn’t have been hit by a car, or just plain found dead by now. Mountain lions, as elusive a critter as you’re liable to find, are seen and photographed pretty regularly, and get hit by cars now and then. A mountain lion is a capable apex predator, elusive and smart, and as such are pretty thin on the ground, yet people see them all the time. In my years in Colorado, I probably saw a baker’s dozen of the big cats while mooching around in the mountains.

A sustained population of a man-sized, bipedal creature, presumably an omnivore, would have to number in the hundreds or thousands to be viable. People would be seeing them; hunter’s trail cams would pick them up; they would occasionally get hit by cars or shot in “unfavorable Bigfoot-human interactions,” as happens with bears pretty regularly. For that matter, almost everyone nowadays carries a pretty decent high-resolution camera with them as part of their smartphone, and yet, no unambiguous, clear photos. Why? Because, like the Loch Ness Monster, the chupacabra, and the Tooth Fairy, Bigfoot doesn’t exist.

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