Poor Britain. Once home to the world’s mightiest navy, with an empire that spanned the globe, the United Kingdom has fallen far and fast, and relatively quickly; it’s only been since World War 2, after which the UK abdicated the control of the seas to the United States, that Britain really started its downhill slide. It’s a shame; this was a nation that gave us Winston Churchill, William Shakespeare, the Duke of Wellington, and the Spice Girls.

Wait, scratch that last one. 

It turns out that the once-Great Britain has achieved one more goal, though: they have achieved Peak Stupid. At least, the National Trust – a charity organization dedicated to the preservation of historic sites – has done so. How so? They are installing machines to dispense “vegan” feminine hygiene products.

In men’s bathrooms. That’s right. 

The charity is providing the sanitary products in the men’s toilets at Sizergh Castle, near Lake Windermere in the Lake District.

A box fixed to the wall, with the wording: “Got a period situation going on? We got you” offers the free tampons. Nearby is a disposal bin featuring a male icon.

Some older Brits are as confused as I would be if I had encountered this without previous warning.

One 79-year-old visitor to the stately home said: “Entering the male-only designated toilet, I was confused. Pads and tampons were provided, plus a male disposal bin. 

“There was a female-only toilet nearby, and both male and female facilities [were] clearly marked with a male figure and a female figure… not unisex facilities.

“As a man, I appreciate the prostate bins in the men’s toilet and pads for men, but having gone and used the urinal, I then turned around and I was facing a green bin saying something like: ‘Are you having period problems?’

The only problem men entering this men’s room – a room for men – since men don’t have periods – would be the danger of rolling one’s eyes so hard that the muscles and optic nerve disconnect and one’s eyes go spinning about in one’s face like the wheels on an old mechanical pinball machine.

The elderly visitor, it seems, couldn’t believe what he was seeing. 

“I went outside and put my head outside the door. I wanted to check if I had used the wrong toilet. I was confused, and it led to a great deal of discussion with my wife and friends as to why tampons and pads were put into the gents. I think it needs explaining as to what this policy means.”

I think I can explain what this policy means: The National Trust has lost its conkers.