Greetings from the sports desk located somewhere below decks of the Good Pirate Ship RedState. Sammy the Shark and Karl the Kraken are fast asleep on the couch, so I’m typing this as quietly as possible—waking them would be a big mistake. In fact, I’m typing almost as quietly as the Kansas City Chiefs offense was throughout most of Super Bowl LIX, made so by a dominating Philadelphia Eagles defense en route to a 40-22 rout that wasn’t nearly as competitive as the score indicates.

The Eagles rendered the Chiefs offense helpless with a relentless pass rush, sacking Kansas City quarterback Patrick Mahomes six times. Attempts to alleviate the pressure via the run were equally futile, as the Chiefs mustered a measly 49 yards on the ground. Mahomes threw only one fewer interception (two, including a pick-six) than he did touchdown passes, as two late Kansas City scores could not obscure the absolute thrashing administered by Philadelphia’s defense.

For the Eagles, quarterback Jalen Hurts had a solid game, throwing two touchdown passes and rushing for a third. Despite the Chiefs keeping the other-worldly Gulls running back Saquon Barkley relatively in check — 57 yards on 25 carries with no touchdowns and his longest run being only 10 yards — the Philadelphia offense was, for the most part, efficient at both moving the chains and eating the clock, making Kansas City’s offensive woes even more painful for the Chiefs Kingdom faithful.

As to the halftime show … okay, I am not, nor have I ever been a rap fan. I couldn’t tell the difference between “good” and “bad” rap if I tried. I do know that rap, like country and metal, has a devoted loyal following and an even larger number of people who’d rather listen to a chorus of cats hocking hairballs. Like true country and metal, rap is a niche market with no crossover appeal. So why deliberately alienate a large portion of your audience by featuring something they can’t stand?

I do not know if Kendrick Lamar is any good. The only reason I know his name is from the feud he had some months back with Drake, and the only reason I know that much is because I make a limited effort to keep abreast of pop culture going-ons as part of being able to communicate with people outside my cultural sphere in order to better spread the conservative evangel. I’m not going to pretend to like or “get” something for the sake of pretending to be something or someone I’m not.

— terry schappert (@terryschappert) February 10, 2025