As I watched Chancellor John Healey deliver yesterday’s Budget, I found myself trying to place the familiar face and manner he seemed to evoke.
It was there in the apologetic, almost sorrowful expression, the cautious delivery and the persistent air of someone wrestling with an unwelcome set of circumstances.
The shape of his nose, the position of his ears and that unmistakably plaintive look all added to the impression.
Then, as he began speaking at length about the new sports centre for Trent, the answer arrived: Dobby, the house-elf from Harry Potter.
Poor, gentle Dobby had been enslaved by the cruel Malfoy family and forced to punish himself horribly whenever he failed to obey their commands.
His freedom came only after Harry Potter tricked Lucius Malfoy into giving him a sock, breaking the spell that bound him. Dobby could finally choose his own path, although he devoted himself to serving his hero, Andy – apologies, Harry.
Much like Dobby, Healey is difficult to dislike. Whatever one makes of his politics, he plainly comes across as a decent man. He may not be a commanding speaker, but he appears intelligent and considered, while his principles have already been demonstrated by his resignation from Keir Starmer’s government over defence spending.
That was why I felt a flicker of sympathy for him as he returned to his seat, visibly relieved to have finished another gloomy and underwhelming Budget speech, only to receive a comforting pat on the back from the Prime Minister.
Kemi Badenoch, seated between newly appointed Shadow Chancellor Andrew Griffith and her trusted deputy Alex Burghart, was ready for battle. Her response was never likely to be gentle.
Kemi Badenoch, flanked by newly appointed Shadow Chancellor Andrew Griffith and trusted deputy Alex Burghart, was ready to launch a full-scale attack
Like Dobby, Healey is hard to hate; even those who reject his politics can see that he appears to be a fundamentally decent man
Badenoch did not merely criticise the Government’s proposals. She piled one devastating line after another into a towering bonfire of ridicule, then appeared to strike the match.
“The Prime Minister came in promising to reverse 40 years of neoliberalism – and instead we got 4p off gherkins,” she declared, landing the punchline with evident satisfaction.
Burnham looked utterly deflated, like a child watching someone take away his beloved train set.
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With sharp and disciplined criticism, Badenoch ran through the weaknesses in the Chancellor’s plans. Britain, she argued, was “over-spent, over-borrowed, over-taxed”. There could be “no social security without national security”; this was “a Budget for getting by, not getting on”; benefits were rising while the rewards for those moving into work were not. Then came her memorable line: “Just because it’s called universal credit doesn’t mean that everyone in the universe should be on it.”
She then rallied her side with a list that sounded more like a political chant than a fiscal assessment: “Inflation up, Government spending up, debt interest up, mortgage rates up, benefit claims up, unemployment up, welfare spending up.”
Meanwhile, Nusrat Ghani appeared to be enjoying herself almost as much as Badenoch from the Speaker’s Chair, reprimanding furious MPs on the Government benches. “Miss Emily Darlington, normally so polite,” she told the Milton Keynes MP, before adding, with weary disappointment: “Not a great day.”
“People in the country listening to his Budget will be thinking, ‘Is that it?’” Badenoch said in her closing assessment. Her verdict was blunt: “This Budget does not come close to meeting the moment.”
That, ultimately, is the central point. Badenoch has become the politician of the moment. She repeatedly delivers despite the odds, her critics and the barely concealed racism and sexism directed towards her. She does more than rise to the occasion: she increasingly defines it.
While Labour appears to be making minor adjustments from a position constrained by party doctrine and distracted by narrow, patronising concerns, Badenoch is using every opportunity to present herself as a politician focused on the bigger national picture.
Showcase moments such as these allow her not only to highlight the flaws in the Government’s approach – but perhaps more importantly they offer her a chance to outline her vision for the nation.
Attack itself isn’t enough. It’s not enough just to jeer and pick holes.
She needs to show that there’s more to her, that she (and her party) has a viable alternative vision for government, as well as the wherewithal to get it done.
It’s this hunger, this self-confidence, this unalloyed appetite for the fight combined with her new, stripped-back team composed of loyal allies that gives her this undeniable air of authority and allows her to wound with such ruthless efficiency.
Despite their jaunty new leadership and the Prime Minister’s matey approach, Labour’s entire strategy is as joyless as it is misguided.
They drone on about ‘austerity’ – but it’s because of them that so many hard-working taxpayers in this country are struggling to make ends meet.
It’s a hair-shirted vision of the future that fails utterly to inspire – and Badenoch is the antidote.