You know precisely what was said, yet the person in front of you firmly claims the exchange never took place.
As their confidence grows, you may start second-guessing your own recollection. Before long, a discussion about an event has turned into a distressing argument over whether you can trust your memory.
Gaslighting is a destabilizing form of emotional manipulation that encourages you to doubt your judgment and give up control. It often leaves you defending yourself, gathering proof or arguing until the other person finally acknowledges that you were right.
A psychologist, however, has offered a brief response that may help stop the manipulation and return the focus to your boundaries.
Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby, a licensed psychologist and founder and CEO of Growing Self Counseling & Coaching, recommends directly identifying the behavior when someone is gaslighting you.
Her 12-word response is: ‘You may have a different perspective, but please do not invalidate mine.’
The statement accepts that two people may interpret an experience differently, while making it clear that the other person’s interpretation does not give them the right to erase yours.
Rather than forcing you to prove every detail, it redirects the conversation toward the way you expect to be treated.
A psychologist has shared a concise response designed to disrupt gaslighting and place personal boundaries back at the heart of the conversation
Speaking to Parade, Bobby outlined seven ways to deal with a gaslighter, from identifying the pattern and strengthening your sense of self to confronting the manipulation directly.
Her guidance is intended for moments when a conversation leaves you flustered, defensive or determined to make the other person accept your version of events.
The cycle often starts when someone challenges your understanding of what happened with such certainty that you feel forced to defend it.
You explain your memory, outline your reasoning and look for supporting evidence, convinced that one more fact might finally end the dispute.
Instead, the exchange can develop into a drawn-out struggle for control, giving the manipulator further chances to distort your words and weaken your confidence.
The report notes that provoking an emotional response may be part of the gaslighting dynamic, as the other person uses your efforts to defend yourself or gain their approval to maintain control.
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Responding calmly and intentionally can change the pattern by making the conduct itself—not an endlessly disputed detail—the subject of the conversation.
Rather than battling over which account of events will prevail, the response affirms that your experience has a legitimate place in the discussion.
Using the word ‘please’ keeps the tone measured, while the clear request establishes a firm boundary against having your experience dismissed.
For anyone who needs to set a stronger limit, Bobby suggested a longer script that identifies the manipulation and explains what comes next: ‘I understand that you’re trying to make me question my own judgment.
‘I know what happened. You may have a different perspective, but please do not invalidate mine.
‘If there’s no room for my point of view in this conversation, then this isn’t a conversation I’m willing to keep having.’
The opening names the behavior directly, while the next sentence reaffirms the speaker’s confidence in their own recollection.
Acknowledging a different perspective then leaves room for disagreement without accepting that your judgment should be erased.
The final sentence provides an exit: if there is no space for your point of view, you are unwilling to continue the exchange.
That is the boundary at the heart of the approach.
The objective described in the report is to protect your own boundaries and mental peace, rather than persuade a manipulator to change their mind.
You can recognize that someone sees events differently while still refusing to participate in a conversation that dismisses what you remember.
The short response establishes that distinction, and the longer version makes the consequences of ignoring it clear.
Both give someone a prepared way to speak up when the instinct is to keep defending, explaining and arguing.
The conversation can end without securing the other person’s agreement, because the decision to continue depends on whether there is room for both perspectives.