DEAR ABBY: My partner of 16 years is battling cancer, and I’m incredibly proud of his resilience. Recently, I underwent an EKG, and the results were concerning. When I shared this with him, he immediately shifted the focus to his own health struggles. Am I wrong to feel upset by this? Throughout his battle, I’ve supported him unwaveringly, taking him to appointments and tending to his needs. I doubt you’ll respond to this letter, but I felt compelled to write it. — FRUSTRATED IN MAINE
DEAR FRUSTRATED: You are certainly not selfish. It’s natural to be worried about your health while also caring for your partner. Your feelings are valid, and it’s clear that your partner’s reliance on you has left little room for your own needs to be acknowledged. Consider having an open dialogue with him about your concerns. Discuss how you can both support each other more effectively, ensuring your needs are also met.
DEAR ABBY: Could you help raise awareness about the importance of service dogs for people like us who rely on them? These dogs are trained to perform vital tasks for their handlers, which can include detecting high or low glucose levels, anticipating mood swings, anxiety, depression, or even impending seizures.
Service dogs are not merely pets. In states like New Mexico and many others, it’s illegal to falsely claim a dog as a service animal. Dogs in training have the same access rights as fully trained service dogs, meaning they cannot be refused entry. Hotels that charge fees for pets cannot impose these charges on service dogs, and airlines must allow them to travel free of charge. These animals are permitted in all public places.
The handler must maintain control over the dog at all times, and excessive barking is not allowed. A single bark is not considered excessive. Under the Americans with Disabilities Act, only two questions can be asked: whether the animal is a service dog and what tasks it is trained to perform. Inquiring about the handler’s disability or why they need a service dog is prohibited. My service dog in training is learning to detect specific medical conditions and assist me accordingly.
Many people are unaware of proper behavior around service dogs. Never distract, talk to or pet the service dog. Do not make eye contact with it either. Distracting my dog could cause a serious problem for me. — AWARENESS ADVOCATE
DEAR ADVOCATE: Thank you for your instructive letter about service dog responsibilities and etiquette. I hope it will prove useful to my readers because there appears to be some confusion about this subject, due to so many dog owners cheating the system by representing their pets as service animals.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.