Amy Duggar has disclosed that she experienced repeated breakdowns and continues to have trust issues due to what she claims are alleged lies spread by her well-known family to shield her cousin, Josh Duggar, who is a convicted pedophile.

The 38-year-old TV personality, and niece of Duggar family patriarch Jim Bob Duggar, was heavily involved in their reality TV ventures, notably the hit TLC show, 19 Kids and Counting.

However, in recent times, Amy says she has distanced herself from almost the entire family—except for Jill Duggar—to safeguard her mental and physical well-being and to protect her young son, Daxton, whom she has with her husband, Dillon King.

She walked away from her famous family because of her cousin Josh’s child pornography conviction and previous allegations that he molested four of his sisters.

Speaking exclusively to Daily Mail ahead of the release of her new book, Holy Disruptor: Shattering the Shiny Facade by Getting Louder with the Truth, she said she was ‘jittery’ and reclusive after learning about his crimes, and had no choice but to remove them from her life.

‘As long as they follow certain beliefs that they used to… unfortunately, I have to have a boundary there, so I am in no contact with any of them,’ she said.

‘There’s been no contact,’ she said of disgraced reality star, Josh. ‘Do you blame me? I had breakdown after breakdown. I was not okay.

‘I felt jittery, like, just not even on the inside, but on the outside. I was not okay. I was not calm.

‘My face broke out. I cried a lot. I just stayed inside a lot. Stay inside my house, cuddled my cat, just loved on the people that are around me.’

In December 2021, Amy’s cousin Josh was convicted of ‘knowingly’ receiving pornographic images of children who were under 12 years old – including murderer Peter Scully’s video depicting the rape and torture of three young girls, one of which was an 18-month-old toddler.

His crimes were at the time labelled the ‘worst of the worst’ by a judge overseeing his case.

Josh’s earliest possible release is October 2, 2032, but he’ll then have 20 years of supervised release where can have no unsupervised contact with minors including his children.

The eldest child of Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar will also have to agree to have his online activity monitored by his probation officer.

Six years prior to his conviction, TLC canceled 19 Kids and Counting after allegations that he had molested four of his sisters and an underage babysitter between 2002 and 2003, when he was 14 and 15 years old. 

Josh had admitted to inappropriately touching his siblings years prior and claimed that his own parents, Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar, knew about it.

They had him report his actions to a state trooper, however he was never charged with a crime, and the statute of limitations expired.

Jim Bob and Michelle confirmed Josh’s actions in an interview with Fox News in 2015.

‘He said he had improperly touched some of our daughters,’ Jim Bob said at the time. ‘He said he was just curious about girls and he had gone in and touched them over their clothes when they were sleeping.’

Amy is still trying to reckon with Josh’s crimes and her aunt and uncle not taking proper action.

‘Apparently, the person that I thought I’ve known my entire life is a complete stranger,’ she said.

‘I do not know this person. And that really was a huge shock and a huge disappointment and just a huge heartbreak.

‘I had trust issues. I think I’m still dealing with trust issues.

‘When someone says something to me, it matters, and I want to be able to trust that. And it’s been difficult to get past that side of it, knowing that the closest people to me have lied straight to my face, and they’re like, completely fine with it.

‘It’s all about “protecting the family” and for me, I’m just going to be authentic and genuine and truthful.’

Taking a stand against the Duggars and cutting them off hasn’t been an easy undertaking for Amy.

‘It was very isolating,’ she said. ‘Thank goodness I have friends that have been like my chosen family, and that I can tell stuff to and they can relate to me, and we have a really good connection.

‘But yeah, saying bye to that many people is extremely difficult.’

Amy admits that her feelings towards the Duggars are complicated.

‘It’s not black and white,’ she said. ‘There were a lot of good moments that we had. There’s a lot of interesting, confusing moments, and there’s some heartbreaking moments, and all of that together, it’s like, do I need to be tied to that?

‘And then I’ve also questions: Is it really that bad where I have to leave my family? Is it really that bad?

‘But I always go back to what kind of life do I want to give my son. Would I feel good and comfortable with my son over there and all of that? The answer for me is just no. And so that’s what stops me every time.

‘I feel like there’s a lot of confusion, there’s a lot of things that’s happened, there’s a lot of hurt, and there’s a lot of stuff. And for me, I just, I don’t think it’s honestly worth the pain.

‘I’d rather give him healthy, happy, amazing, genuine people around him and surround him with quality protection than anything.’

Whether the relationship can ever be repaired remains to be seen for Amy – and its not a relationship that can be mended overnight.

‘For me, trust is something that you earn and once it’s been broken in so many ways, how do you repair that?’ she said.

‘I’m not saying that repair isn’t possible, but I just honestly don’t see it in the near foreseeable future.

‘We have different opinions, different beliefs, different things like that, and I’m just gonna stick with just telling the truth and having peace in my own little family.’