DEAR ABBY: Recently, I extricated myself from a relationship filled with both verbal and physical abuse. My struggles with mental health were exacerbated by “Scott,” my partner of nearly four years. Though I regret moving in with him, I fell into the trap of his charm despite his alcoholism, narcissism, bipolar disorder, and sociopathic tendencies. He often claimed to be a man of faith. Throughout our time living together, he repeatedly expelled me from our home, fully aware I had nowhere else to turn. Five months ago, he did this for the final time.

Despite everything, I still harbor feelings of love and care for him. Yet, last month I discovered he met someone new at AA and allowed her to move in, although she left just yesterday. Until recently, we were still in a relationship, albeit without any romantic interactions. This man has shattered me, and his influence has overshadowed my true self.

Scott’s past is marred by abuse, including a criminal conviction for animal cruelty. His charm pulled me in, and I stayed despite knowing better. Currently, I am residing with a friend and receiving psychiatric and therapeutic support, which feels inadequate. Scott and I were engaged, with marriage plans contingent on his sobriety—a milestone he never reached. I feel lost and need guidance. — BROKEN WING IN MINNESOTA

DEAR BROKEN WING: Your situation echoes the sentiments of Cole Porter’s “So in Love.” I urge you to listen to the song, as its lyrics resonate with what you’ve described. It’s crucial to persist with your therapy and continue your psychiatric treatment until you can break free from your attachment to someone who, based on your account, lacks the capacity for genuine love. Only then can you hope for a brighter future.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 66-year-old married woman with two daughters, standing at 5-foot-2 and weighing 108 pounds. This has been my consistent weight. Yet, every time I attend family gatherings with my in-laws, at least one person comments that I should “put some meat on my bones.” I find this remark not only rude but offensive. It’s not as if I go around suggesting they should “take some meat off” theirs.

I cannot help my size, metabolism or genetics, and I am tired of the comments. These people have known me for 39 years. I have always been this size. I don’t know what to say to them. I no longer care anymore about being kind. — SLIGHT IN OHIO

DEAR SLIGHT: If you really don’t care about offending the offenders, take off your kid gloves. Tell your in-laws you have tolerated their comments for too long and to quit doing it because you don’t like it. If, heaven forbid, they say you are “too sensitive,” ask them how they would like being told they are too heavy and that their perfume smells like garbage. (I’m sure you can think of something once you stop laughing.)

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.