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A woman has divided opinions after sharing a controversial reason to part ways with your boyfriend or reject a proposal.
Michelle Elman said to break up immediately if your man doesn’t make any effort in the relationship and only does so when he’s about to propose.
The London author explained how a relationship should always be 50-50, and the proposal should never be the first time your partner organises a date night.
‘This is so important. It isn’t about grand gestures, it is about effort. I wouldn’t be in a relationship if they need a special occasion to do something nice for me,’ Michelle said in an Instagram video.
London author Michelle Elman (pictured) encouraged women to break up with their boyfriend who put no effort into the relationship besides when it comes to proposing
Michelle recalled a conversation she had with a friend who was convinced her partner was going to propose because he made a restaurant booking – something he ‘never does’.
‘I was asking, “Do you think he’ll do it on holiday, do you think he’ll book a restaurant?” and she was like “Oh he couldn’t do that because it would be a give away”,’ Michelle said.
She was confused as to why simply making a reservation would make it ‘obvious’ he was proposing.
‘She was like, “Yeah, I would know because he’s never done that before”. They were in a ten-year relationship!’ Michelle continued
‘Forget the proposal! I wouldn’t be in a ten-year relationship with someone who never booked a restaurant.
‘In a long-term relationship there should a be 50-50 split of making effort around trips, date nights, booking restaurants, planning and organising things for you to do together.’
Michelle said if a such a man proposed to her it would be an ‘absolute no’.
‘Me personally, I don’t even go on first dates unless the guy books. But if the one and only time a guy books a restaurant is on the proposal.. that would for sure be a no,’ she added.
Michelle explained how a relationship should always be 50-50, and the proposal should never be the first time your partner organises a date night (stock image)
The video has since been viewed more than 607,000 times and received thousands of comments from other women, many of which agreed with her point.
‘So true! My now husband cooked me breakfast in bed (complete with rose petals and chocolate covered strawberries for dessert) when he proposed and I genuinely had no idea it was coming because that’s just the kind of guy he is,’ one woman wrote.
‘My proposal has been bugging me for two years and I think you cracked it. Going to sit with this for a while,’ another said.
A third added: ‘I wish that someone would have raised me with this knowledge. I wasted a lot of time being a servant to a bare minimum guy. I regret it.’
However, others disagreed and argued it would depend on the man’s personality.
‘I feel like videos like this are harmful because my significant other has issues doing things like this because of his ADHD,’ one woman explained.
‘Just the way he grew up he is now getting more consistent after two years with gifts and romantic gestures.’
Another said: ‘Some people are just motivated differently and there doesn’t have to be balance in all areas of a relationship. You might find it easier to make plans and the other might find it easier to do other things.’
Someone else wrote: ‘I wouldn’t be in a ten-year relationship with someone who takes ten years to propose.’