DEAR ABBY: How can I politely let people know that I prefer not to have visitors at my home? My home is my safe space, and the busyness of the outside world drains me, which is something I don’t want to bring into my home. This preference applies to family, friends, neighbors, church members, or anyone who may show up at my door.

Due to dealing with anxiety and unresolved trauma, I find it challenging to have visitors. I am open to meeting in public spaces or going to someone else’s home if we both feel comfortable with it. While my family may not understand my boundaries, it’s important for me to enforce them. They may believe they have a right to invade my space just because we are related. I am okay with being seen as different, but how can I assert my needs without feeling obligated to justify myself? — INTROVERT IN TENNESSEE

DEAR INTROVERT: Stand firm in your decision without feeling the need to defend yourself. Simply reiterate what you shared with me. It clearly communicates your feelings, which should be respected.

DEAR ABBY: Is it OK to grieve the loss of an ex-husband from your early 20s if you’ve been happily married to someone else for 35 years? I’m not sure my present husband wouldn’t somehow be hurt by my feelings over the loss.

Losing my ex makes me feel bruised inside and represents the end of an era for me. I’m already dreading the loss of my present husband. We have shared so much in our many years together. — SENSITIVE IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR SENSITIVE: Nobody lives forever, and it is a waste of time to fear the inevitable. Because someone dies doesn’t mean the person must be evicted from our heart. People don’t necessarily “get over” the death of a loved one. Many learn to live with and manage the ache. My experience has shown me that although death may close a chapter of our lives, it doesn’t mean another one won’t open. 

DEAR ABBY: I’m 25 years old, I have my master’s degree and work for a large technology and data company in Georgia. I make great money, live on my own and travel often. All that being said, I am having a really hard time finding guys who match up to that. At times, I feel like I’m entertaining men who aren’t on my level. 

I’d like to be “equally yoked” with my partner, but I sometimes settle because some people have told me my standards are too high. Do you have any advice for a young woman who wants to be in a relationship, but only with a guy who checks all the boxes? — YEARNING FOR LOVE IN ATLANTA

DEAR YEARNING: Yes. Start editing that list of yours, because limiting yourself to someone who “checks all the boxes” may make it difficult to find a partner with whom you can be “equally yoked.” And that’s no “yoke.” 

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.