DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend and I have been together for 18 years, and to our friends and family, it seems as if we’re married. However, we’ve never made it official. Throughout our relationship, I’ve had to accept his lack of empathy, which has been quite challenging. Despite my numerous requests, he never buys me gifts, and even offering a comforting hug when I’m feeling down seems like an effort for him.

Recently, things have become increasingly difficult. I’ve gained a significant amount of weight due to emotional eating, and our relationship seems to be unraveling. Intimacy has vanished, as we haven’t been physically intimate for six months, which has left me questioning whether something is wrong with me.

In the past, he would at least give me massages, providing a sense of closeness. Now, we feel more like strangers than partners. Despite the stress we’re both experiencing, I can’t help but wonder where the love has gone. How should I approach him about this deteriorating situation? — STRANGER IN LOVE

DEAR STRANGER: It’s crucial to address these feelings when both of you are calm and relatively free of stress. Start by expressing concern for his happiness and ask him what he thinks is affecting your relationship. Couples don’t just forget to get married; there are usually underlying issues that should have been addressed long ago.

After hearing his perspective, communicate your feelings of loneliness, isolation, and unhappiness. If both of you are committed to improving the relationship, there’s hope for a more fulfilling future together. However, if he remains indifferent, it may be time to consider ending the relationship. The lack of affection could be contributing to your emotional eating, and continuing down this path might only lead to further heartache.

DEAR ABBY: My ex-girlfriend just can’t get a clue. She continues trying to get me back and even goes so far as to stalk me. I blocked her phone number, but it has become exhausting. How do I tell her I don’t love her anymore and really no longer even like her? I can’t stand her, her family or her friends. She gaslit me for years. Our entire relationship was built on a lie. I’m so much happier without her in my life, but she just won’t go away. Any advice on how to deal with this crazy person would be great. — SO OVER HER IN FLORIDA

DEAR SO OVER HER: Continue to avoid your ex, and if you see her, do not acknowledge her. If she approaches you, tell her you are done and to leave you alone. Do not respond to her calls, emails or texts, and if she mails you anything, write “return to sender” on the package or envelope. 

Tell your friends that she is stalking you and her behavior is creepy, and then continue dating and resume your social life. If she acts out or damages your property, report her to the authorities. The most effective way to get rid of her is to resume the life you had before you met her and don’t look back.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.