DEAR ABBY: My grandson, “Ethan,” and his fiancee lived with his mother until they decided to move out four years ago. When they relocated, they chose not to disclose their new address to his parents. It’s been several years since my daughter has seen Ethan, though they exchange occasional texts.

Seven months ago, Ethan got married, but he didn’t invite his parents. He was concerned they would “make it about themselves” and detract from his special day. He assured me that I would be invited and receive a lovely photo from the wedding photographer. The wedding came and went, and I only learned it had happened through social media pictures. My intuition told me he felt uncomfortable inviting me and his aunt while excluding his parents.

In the past, I’ve sent Ethan money for his birthday and Christmas and helped him with car repairs. Despite not being invited to the wedding, I sent a congratulatory card with a generous check enclosed. He cashed the check but never acknowledged receiving it.

Since neither Ethan nor his wife thanked me for the wedding gift, I’m torn about his upcoming birthday. Should I overlook the occasion, or demonstrate unconditional love by sending a card? I won’t be sending money due to the lack of gratitude for the wedding gift. What would Dear Abby suggest? — ESTRANGED BY ASSOCIATION

DEAR ESTRANGED: Dear Abby would note that not receiving an invitation to the wedding, despite being promised one, was discourteous. The fact that I sent a check, which was cashed without acknowledgment, signals to me that my grandson is intentionally distancing himself. You might choose to send a birthday card to maintain the connection, but do so with the understanding that it may, once again, go unacknowledged.

DEAR ABBY: My 25th class reunion is coming up, and I’m debating whether to go because I’m not sure how to handle a conversation that is sure to come up. I was very close to my classmates until five years ago, when my husband and I faced a series of family tragedies that took all of my time and energy. The worst was losing a daughter who would have been graduating this year.

I’m ready to reconnect with my old friends, but how do I deal with casual conversations without making light of the situation or being a wet blanket? If someone asks, “How is your daughter doing?” I need to have a reasonable response that isn’t going to be awful for both of us. The thought of having to talk about it makes me want to stay home. Advice? — UNDECIDED IN LOS ANGELES

DEAR UNDECIDED: Please accept my sympathy for the loss of your daughter. If someone at the reunion hasn’t already heard about her death and asks how she’s doing, respond with the truth, which is that she passed away several years ago. If someone asks for the details, simply say you don’t want to discuss it further and change the subject.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.