DEAR ABBY: My connection with my mother-in-law has been tumultuous throughout the nine years of my marriage to her daughter. She has often been unkind, making statements such as, “You’re not welcome [in her home].” Acceptance from her has never been forthcoming.

During a recent visit, she disregarded the boundaries my wife and I had established. We had asked for a simple, pleasant lunch, but she veered into insisting my wife apologize to her niece over a minor issue. When I asked her to leave, she became emotional, accusing me of being a disappointment as a son-in-law. Any advice? — DISRESPECTED IN RHODE ISLAND

DEAR DISRESPECTED: It’s evident that neither you nor your mother-in-law harbor warm feelings for each other. Her decision to challenge the boundaries by critiquing your wife was inappropriate, but asking her to leave might have been too harsh. Consider how closely your wife wants to remain with her mother. If reconciliation is a goal, engaging with a licensed family therapist could be beneficial for all involved.

DEAR ABBY: When invited to witness my great-grandchild’s birth, I gladly accepted. I was informed that if my granddaughter hadn’t delivered by the 14th, an induction would occur. Unfortunately, I neglected the possibility of an earlier arrival. I left town on Friday the 11th, the very day my granddaughter went into labor.

As a result, I missed the birth of my great-granddaughter, a realization that devastates me. To make matters worse, my granddaughter has ceased communication. Although I’ve attempted to reach out, she won’t respond. I am overwhelmed with regret, feeling it was a monumental mistake. What should I do? — TRIPPED UP IN COLORADO

DEAR TRIPPED UP: While your absence at your great-grandchild’s birth was unfortunate, it is not the mistake of a lifetime. You are human, and human beings make mistakes. That your granddaughter won’t speak to you is regrettable, but hopefully she’ll mellow after she receives your large bouquet of flowers and abject letter of apology.

DEAR ABBY: My son-in-law says I am lazy and antisocial because I use the drive-up grocery option. I told him that when I use the drive-up, I do less impulse buying and save time and money. Am I wrong? — INSULTED IN WISCONSIN

DEAR INSULTED: Of course you are not wrong. What you are doing works for you, and you shouldn’t be criticized for it. Ask yourself why your passive-aggressive son-in-law feels the need to put you down. Is there something else going on in your relationship with him … or in his head?

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.