DEAR ABBY: My sister recently fell seriously ill and had to spend four days in the hospital. Naturally concerned, I reached out to our daughter, who was supportive and compassionate upon hearing the news. However, when I contacted our son, “Isaac,” I left him a message asking him to return my call due to its importance, but he never responded.

A few days later, my husband also left a message for Isaac, urging him to get in touch. Instead of calling back, Isaac sent us a picture from Disneyland in California, where he was vacationing with his wife and children. It seemed he didn’t want to be disturbed during his trip. Once he returned home, he waited several more days before finally calling me.

I can’t shake the feeling of hurt and disappointment over Isaac’s actions. Living in Texas, I know they take these Disneyland trips three or four times a year. It seemed reasonable to expect Isaac to take five minutes to call back and learn about his aunt’s condition. Because of this, I now feel distant from my son, as though I’m unimportant to him. Am I wrong to feel this way? Is it typical for close family members to ignore such calls while on vacation? Although my sister is on the mend, the ordeal has deeply affected her. — DISILLUSIONED IN TEXAS

DEAR DISILLUSIONED: It’s understandable that you’re feeling hurt and let down. This situation indeed serves as a wake-up call. Is it possible that you have a history of reaching out to Isaac at inconvenient times? It’s hard to fathom why else he wouldn’t respond to your urgent message.

Your son seems to exhibit self-centered behavior and may be emotionally detached from the family. If this is the first time you’ve recognized such behavior, it’s crucial to take note. As you and your husband age, do not assume Isaac will be a reliable support system. It’s essential to be realistic about his involvement in your lives going forward.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 61-year-old woman who still works full time. My husband is 65 and retired. Unfortunately, he has severe back issues that prevent him from doing much. He’s unable to walk or ride long distances or even sleep well at night. 

When I get home from work, I cook dinner and clean up, but by then he’s asleep in the living room, and I am unable to entertain myself. He controls the TV, and I’m stuck watching old shows from the ’50s and ’60s. I feel so isolated. We can’t go anywhere or do anything. I am the loneliest married woman I know. 

My husband is currently good and kind, but he is getting more easily frustrated by everything. Should I stay or go? — WAFFLING IN WEST VIRGINIA

DEAR WAFFLING: Where you should go is straight to a store that sells television sets. Buy one for yourself and place it in a room your husband doesn’t sleep in. This should solve part of your problem. As to your husband’s increasing level of frustration, this should be discussed with his doctor. Neither of you is in a particularly happy place right now, but this might be a step in the right direction.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.