DEAR ABBY: My older brother, who is 70, is in the process of making estate plans with his partner. Since we are the only siblings and have no children, I assured him that I am financially stable and he doesn’t need to include me in his will. However, he insisted on getting my Social Security number, claiming it was necessary for beneficiary bequests. Before handing over this sensitive information, I decided to double-check by calling him back to ensure it was truly him asking for it.

Later, he requested my passport number, stating that his partner’s assets in China required additional documentation. This seemed excessive to me, and I felt uncomfortable. Consequently, I asked him to remove me from his bequests entirely. He grumbled about the inconvenience of having to contact his lawyer to change the trust details but said he would do it. Now, he has stopped speaking to me.

Abby, my brother never mentioned the need for anything beyond a Social Security number. Should I feel bad about the extra trouble and expense of amending his trust? — TROUBLEMAKER SIS IN TEXAS

DEAR SIS: There is no reason for you to feel guilty about withholding such personal information! Are you absolutely certain it was your brother who was making these requests and not a scam artist? It’s worth noting that a beneficiary does not need to provide a Social Security number or a passport number to be named in a will. It sounds like you might have narrowly avoided a potential scam.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 51-year-old mother and grandmother, but unfortunately, my children have stopped speaking to me. The issue began when my son, “Aaron,” was sexually assaulted by his friend “Eli.” After this incident, I told Aaron that Eli was no longer welcome in our home. I also discussed the situation with Eli’s mother, who agreed that the boys should not spend time together. At the time, both boys were minors—Aaron was 10 and Eli was 13.

A few months later, Aaron told me that it wasn’t Eli but his own uncle “Joe” who sexually assaulted him. I knew better. I talked to Joe and, of course, he knew nothing. I told Aaron to stop lying about his uncle and that Eli still couldn’t come over.

Aaron is an adult now, and he’s got his siblings believing him about his uncle, and he’s still friends with Eli. My husband and I moved next door to Joe, and now all the kids have blocked me from their and their kids’ lives. When I tried to talk to Aaron about the situation, he blocked me completely. Joe knows nothing about what’s going on. How do I get back into my children’s and grandkids’ lives? — TURNED UPSIDE DOWN

DEAR TURNED: Could the boys have been experimenting with getting familiar with their bodies when all this occurred? Did you see something and confront your son and he admitted it? Aaron may have blamed Uncle Joe because he wanted to continue seeing Eli. Or … was his accusation true? You will not be able to heal the schism in your family until everyone is in agreement about what really happened when Aaron was 10.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.