DEAR ABBY: I am a 60-year-old woman, recently divorced, and currently in a relationship with a Danish man for the past year. He proposed to me several months ago, and I accepted. He wants me to move to Denmark with my 21-year-old daughter, who is high-functioning autistic and still needs my assistance with daily tasks.

A few months back, I lost my second job, which led to financial difficulties and eventually eviction from our home. With nowhere to turn, my daughter and I moved in with a friend in another state. When I reached out to my fiancé for financial help, he refused, expressing anger and stating he didn’t want to be a “sugar daddy.”

Despite frequently mentioning his substantial income and savings, he turned down my request for a modest ,000 to prevent our eviction, suggesting instead that I ask my ex-husband for support. This refusal resulted in us losing our home. Although I have since found another job, the impact of this situation remains.

From the beginning of our relationship, I was honest about my daughter’s need to live with us and clarified if it would be an issue. He assured me it wasn’t. However, he’s now insisting she must move out as soon as possible, despite her being in a foreign country where she doesn’t speak the language and faces her own challenges. He also told me I couldn’t bring my cat. When I expressed my feelings about these demands, he ended our relationship, stating he wouldn’t offer any help.

I’m not someone who exploits others; my entire life, I’ve worked hard and believe family should support one another. As we are engaged, I feel our challenges should be shared. I’m now uncertain about the future of our relationship, and my daughter is hurt by his unwillingness to include her in our lives. He’s even threatened to find his own apartment if she stays. What should I do? — CONFUSED IN MARYLAND

DEAR GOING: How many red flags do you need? Your fiance is tight with money even when he knows you are drowning. He has no intention of living under the same roof with your daughter, who may be unable to adjust to that new society. Understand that if you move to Denmark, he isn’t going to change. This is who he is. For your daughter’s sake and your own, end the engagement. This is not the kind of husband you need.

DEAR ABBY: There’s a boy in a grade above me. When he gets mad that a girl doesn’t like him or his friend, he slut-shames them and calls them whores. Girls in my grade have tried to shake it off, but it won’t stop. We don’t want to resort to violence, but we might have to. What should we do? — AT OUR WITS’ END

DEAR WITS’ END: Violence is never the answer. The girls who have been slut-shamed should tell their parents what has been going on and then inform the teachers and the administrators of your school. In the good old days, that boy’s mouth would have been washed out with soap.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.