DEAR ABBY: I am a single parent of two girls. My oldest, “Becca,” is 17. She has been dating a guy and plans to move in with him and two friends as soon as she graduates. Their relationship is toxic, with frequent fights. I have tried to convince her not to move in with him, but she is determined.

Becca has abandonment issues due to her mother leaving when she was a baby and the emotional abuse from my second wife before we divorced. I believe these issues blind her to the problems in her current relationship.

How can I make Becca understand that moving in with her boyfriend might not be the best decision? I fear she will be stuck in an unhealthy relationship and potentially face early pregnancy due to their lack of self-control. Your advice is appreciated. — SINGLE DAD IN ARIZONA

DEAR DAD: After a year of fighting with her boyfriend, Becca may change her mind about moving in with him once she graduates. (One can only hope.) However, if she doesn’t, try to arrive at a compromise with her. Tell her you love her, and your door will always be open if she needs to come home. 

Ask Becca if she would be willing to start using long-term (reversible) birth control, such as an IUD or contraceptive implant, to ensure she’s protected from an unplanned pregnancy, which could disrupt her life. Your family doctor can explain her options to her if she’s willing. (I’m crossing my fingers that she sees the wisdom.)

DEAR ABBY: Last year, I gave my dad a cool flashlight for his birthday. It was rechargeable and had a feature that made it work as a lantern. He seemed excited about it and later told me again that he’d been using it. 

Abby, this week, my dad gave the flashlight back to me as a gift. Not only that, he went on and on about how thoughtful he was in “finding” this unusual gadget for me! He kept asking if I liked it. I said, yes, I thought it was cool, which is the reason I gave it to him last year. He didn’t seem to understand what I was saying and repeatedly asked me to tell him how much I appreciated the gift. I decided not to make a big deal about it, but I think both our feelings were hurt. 

Is this kind of forgetfulness a sign of something bigger I should be worried about? He does the typical old man thing of repeating stories from the good ole days, but this sort of outright forgetting is new. — REGIFTED IN WASHINGTON

DEAR REGIFTED: Yes, in addition to repeating stories about the “good ole days,” something like this is cause for concern. If your mother is still in the picture, mention to her how out of character this was of your father. Ask if she has noticed any changes. If she has, suggest that when he sees his doctor for his next physical, he is evaluated neurologically to be sure nothing is wrong. If he lives alone, discuss this with your siblings, if you have any, and suggest that “someone” accompany Dad to his next medical appointment.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.