A LETTER TO ABBY: My marriage of 27 years has been mostly unhappy due to my husband’s 40-year alcoholism and emotionally abusive behavior. Feeling trapped in my own home, I spend my days isolated in the bedroom when not at work. Despite my misery, my adult children want me to stay with him. My husband’s promise to take a pill to stop drinking feels like another empty gesture, and at 56, I am ready to give up. – STRUGGLING TO CONTINUE

RESPONSE FROM ABBY: You deserve better than another year of suffering. Seek legal advice on a separation and leave the toxic environment. Inform your children that you may come back if your husband truly commits to sobriety. With medication, he might change for the better, but don’t rely on it. If he fails to make a real effort, consider filing for divorce. 

A CONCERN TO ABBY: I had accepted invitations to my niece’s wedding and her sister’s bridal shower, bringing along my service dog. Both events were known in advance about my companion. 

The sister told me I was uninvited or could leave my service dog outside on the porch. Now, a month later, three months after saying yes to the wedding, I am being told I’m uninvited to the wedding because of my service dog. Am I expected to still give a wedding gift? I had planned to give my niece my sterling silver dinner set. What do I do now? — GOING, NOT GOING, IN ILLINOIS

DEAR GOING: Forget about the shower and wedding gift. If you feel generously inclined, send the happy couple a nice card. If your animal is, indeed, a trained service dog to help you should you need it, it was wrong to rescind your invitation(s). Your dog would have been well behaved and wouldn’t have caused a distraction.

DEAR ABBY: My 32-year-old son is not speaking to me, his father and sister because I finally refused to give him more money. I have always helped him with his finances while he spent his money foolishly. It has been nine months since we have spoken or seen each other. He has two children, so we have no contact with them, either. 

I want to tell him how foolish he is, but I don’t feel I should have to apologize to him. He’s jealous of his sister and feels we do everything for her. We have always done exactly the same for both of our children. My daughter rarely borrows money, but if she does, it is returned quickly. 

Should I wait until my son misses us enough to contact us on his own or reach out to him? He is very stubborn, and this may go on for years. — SADDENED IN THE SOUTH 

DEAR SADDENED: Call your spoiled, entitled son. Tell him you love him, but that you’re not changing your stance on the money issue. After that, the ball is in his court. 

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.