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Convincing children to heed instructions without resorting to yelling is a common hurdle for many parents. However, slight adjustments in communication tactics can lead to significant improvements.
The parenting guide “How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk” by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish provides several strategies to enhance parental communication. Here are five key approaches you might consider adopting.
Give Instructions With a Single Word
Adele Faber suggests avoiding lengthy explanations, as these can cause children to lose interest. In her conversation with Vicki Glembocki from Parents magazine, Faber advises using a single word to trigger a child’s memory instead of a drawn-out reminder.
For instance, if you find yourself repeatedly saying “wash the dishes” after dinner to no avail, try simply stating “dishes.” This concise cue can capture their attention and remind them of the task at hand. Though it might require perseverance, this method often proves effective over time.
Empower Your Child
Moreover, children are more likely to comply when they understand the rationale behind a request. By providing explanations rather than issuing commands, you can foster a sense of cooperation and willingness in your child.
Mother and daughter. Photo Credit: Freepik.com
Give Your Child a Choice
Offer choices instead of threats or promises.
“Threats and punishment don’t work,” Faber explains. “Rather than feeling sorry for not cooperating, a child tends to become even more stubborn.”
Giving children options can help them feel included and more open to doing what is asked.
State Your Expectations
Be clear about expectations from the start. This helps avoid confusion and makes it easier for children to follow through.
Name Their Feelings
“Everyone wants to know they’ve been heard and understood,” Faber says. “You need to give them the words to express it.”
When children are not able to express their feelings, they may act out instead. Helping them name those feelings can support better communication.