Call the White House! Declare a national emergency! America is in the middle of a full-blown sex recession.

According to the Institute for Family Studies in Virginia, only 37 percent of American adults engage in sexual activity at least once a week. This finding came from an analysis of data covering 1,000 men and women.

But back in 1990, 55 percent of adults aged 18-64 reported getting their freak on once every seven days, at minimum.

The decline is even more striking among 18 to 29-year-olds, with 24 percent of them saying they haven’t had sex in the past year. A whole year!

Adding to the situation, there is a growing trend among women who choose to abstain from sex entirely. Many of these women are sharing on social media that this decision helps them ‘clear their minds’ and concentrate on personal development.

Look, I applaud self-care, but let’s get real: sometimes the best therapy isn’t journaling or a sound bath – it’s a mind-blowing orgasm.

Part of the issue is that we’re surrounded by sexual content—but not in the traditional sense. We’re inundated with powerful sex toys, provocative reality shows, and steamy novels, yet between constant scrolling through social media and late-night Netflix marathons, people are turning away from intimacy in bed.

And when it comes to even finding a partner, so many of us are simply swiping for quick validation, sending half-hearted nudes, sexting in between making dinner and racing to a yoga class or collapsing into bed too exhausted to even brush our teeth, let alone straddle someone.

America is in the middle of a full-blown sex recession. Between doom-scrolling and Netflix binges, we’re rolling over in bed instead of rolling around in it

Let’s get real: sometimes the best therapy isn’t journaling or a sound bath – it’s a mind-blowing orgasm with someone who knows what they’re doing

But all this abstinence is leaving us lonelier, more disconnected and, ironically, craving exactly the kind of intimacy that sex can provide when done right.

Well, I have some advice for America’s sexless masses (especially the ladies). It’s not acrobatic. You don’t need to study the Kama Sutra or risk dislocating a hip. In fact, the move is almost laughably simple. 

Ready?

Stay in the moment.

Sex therapists have a term for it: sexual synchrony. It’s that moment when your breathing matches, you’re attuned to each other’s micro-movements and it feels almost spiritual.

That’s when the oxytocin, the cuddle chemical, hits. It’s a magical bonding hormone and, yes, the reason he might suddenly blurt out, ‘I love you.’

When I floated this theory to my social media followers (who never fail to overshare) the responses rolled in thick and fast. This works – and, even more important than the incredible sex it fosters, ‘sexual synchrony’ creates an intimacy that many of us are lacking. 

One woman confessed: ‘He said “I love you” for the first time while we were having slow sex in the shower. I was kissing his neck, running my hands over his shoulders, taking my time and just being deliberate about how much attention I was giving him.’

Another wrote: ‘I thought he’d only ever say it on a drunken night out. But nope. He said it after a lazy Sunday morning session where we spent forever just lying in bed, touching and giggling. Not even sex, just closeness.’

And perhaps my favorite: ‘He said it when I sat on top, looked him dead in the eye and refused to break eye contact. I wasn’t being porny. I was just caught up in it. It completely melted him.’

Notice the theme? None of these moments involved Cirque du Soleil maneuvers. They were about presence and intimacy.

None of these moments involved Cirque du Soleil maneuvers. They were about presence and intimacy

For the sake of all our libidos, I’ve put together a quick cheat sheet for jumpstarting America’s collective sex life:

Ditch the phone: Nothing kills desire faster than sneaky scrolling before foreplay. 

Go slow: Kiss like you did at the start of the relationship: tease, pause, let anticipation build.

Use your hands: Not in a frantic, get-it-over-with way, but in a deliberate, exploratory way.

Breathe together: Sounds woo-woo but matching your breathing instantly amps up connection.

Eye contact: The bravest move of all. Don’t overthink it. Just… look.

Does this guarantee you an, ‘I love you’? Maybe not every time. But will it shift the energy from perfunctory to profound? Absolutely.