Call the emergency team, because Kim Kardashian’s career might just need a little CPR.

Enter the drama. This week marks the launch of the seventh season of “The Kardashians” on Hulu, and it did not disappoint in delivering its signature flair for the dramatic. The season opens with Kim Kardashian, as glamorous as ever despite the circumstances, undergoing an MRI scan while donning her trademark drag queen lashes.

In a startling revelation, doctors identified a ‘small’ brain aneurysm, or a dilated blood vessel, which Kim attributes to stress. This revelation sets the stage for what promises to be an eventful season, blending personal health challenges with the captivating spectacle that the Kardashian family is known for.

The seventh season of The Kardashians airing on Hulu was conveniently kickstarted this week with a supine Kim – still ready for her close-up with drag queen lashes – shown having an MRI scan.

Doctors discovered a ‘small’ brain aneurysm – a dilated blood vessel – which the beauty mogul claims is linked to stress.

‘This week has been the hardest week of my life,’ she told mommager Kris Jenner over the phone later in the episode.

‘Why is this happening to me?’ She wails in another scene.

Any brain issue is scary stuff but as with everything about the pneumatic Kim, it’s all just a little too overblown and cynical to elicit deep sympathy despite her very best efforts.

The seventh season of The Kardashians was conveniently kickstarted this week with a supine Kim shown having an MRI scan.

Doctors discovered a ‘small’ brain aneurysm – a dilated blood vessel – which the beauty mogul claims is linked to stress

You see, you could be forgiven for thinking her life hangs in the balance – but, surprise, the reality is a little different. 

As neurologist Dr Leah Kroll told ABC news this week, small brain aneurysms are surprisingly common with the ‘vast majority’ symptomless and harmless, just requiring regular monitoring.

Which perhaps explains why it has been globe-trotting business as usual for pouting and pleased with herself Kim who’s barely been off the red carpet since the shock discovery.

We’ve had her transatlantic 45th birthday celebrations and the premieres for her new legal drama All’s Fair in which she stars as a divorce lawyer. And don’t forget the New York launch at Nike’s flagship store to promote the collaboration between her SKIMS shapewear brand and the sportswear giant. 

Taking it easy she isn’t. Though of course appearances can be deceptive.

It seems that, most of all, Kim wants us to know just how stressful and tortured her billion-dollar gilded party-loving jet-setting life really is.

In the same episode of The Kardashians, the star muses on a recent flare up in her psoriasis – a skin condition she says was routinely triggered during her seven year marriage to Kanye West, father of her four children, which ended in 2022.

And in the vein of many zero-medically qualified self-diagnosing celebs, Dr Kim claims her time with the erratic rapper left her suffering from something ‘a bit like Stockholm syndrome’ – a condition in which victims become empathetic towards their abuser or captor as a coping mechanism.

Kardashian claimed she has suffered something ‘a bit like Stockholm Syndrome’ during her marriage to Kanye West

It has been globe-trotting business as usual for pouting and pleased with herself Kim

‘I always felt really bad and always protected and always wanted to help (him),’ she revealed, alluding to the 48-year-old’s well documented mental health struggles.

Adding that she would think to herself, ‘I should’ve stuck it out’ or ‘I could’ve helped.’

Stockholm syndrome? From Kardashian’s inflated lips it smacks more of Beverley Hills Bull.

No one would think life with the erratic, controlling man-child, now known as Ye, wouldn’t be challenging. 

Red flags are everywhere from his outspoken anti-Semitic outbursts to his rightly derided rumored public control of current wife, Biana Censori, muse to his tawdry and tacky body baring stunts. 

He is clearly a complex and troubled individual who would no doubt drain anyone’s emotional energy.

So, given the apparent trauma of Kim’s association with Kanye and the triggering effect on her health, raking it all over for prime-time entertainment three years post-divorce seems… odd.

Add to the mix her sartorial decision at this year’s Academy Museum Gala in Los Angeles and the plot really thickens. 

Along with nude corset dress and emerald choker, the star wore a flesh-toned face covering mask. 

The vibe was eerily similar to both the plain second-skin style balaclava touted by Kanye in his 2021 Donda album-era and the hosiery masks Censori has sported in the past.

Authenticity fail? What does she care? She got all the headlines. 

Kardashian wore a nude corset dress and emerald choker, along with a flesh-toned face covering mask to the Academy Museum Gala 

In a world of peak sexualization, patient porn is the perfect vehicle for a certain breed of celebrity craving. 

It provides that potent mix of attention and sympathy – a currency to play out in a private hospital room with an IV drip.

Tedious, tricky exes and health woes are a reality of life, but in the house of Kardashian they provide just more teasers and cliffhangers to bolster the never-ending soap opera that swells a billion-dollar brand.

Sex tape star, make up mogul, mother, businesswoman, lawyer, actress, Kim has seen many iterations in her career to date, but unfortunately for her, the latest role as victim doesn’t convince at all.