The late Queen Elizabeth allegedly ‘saw through’ Meghan Markle, and claimed her romance with Harry had become a ‘complete catastrophe’, just weeks before her death in September 2021.

Prince Harry and his wife have always been at pains to stress that they enjoyed a warm bond with the late Queen, despite a rift with the other senior royals that has only deepened over the years. 

However, this week the Sussexes up and down relationship with the late Queen was revealed by journalist and royal biographer Sally Bedell Smith on her Substack Royal Extras, after her conversations with Her Majesty’s late cousin Lady Elizabeth Anson.

Lady Eliza, as she was known to friends, told Ms Bedell Smith that Harry had been ‘rude’ to his grandmother for 10 minutes during a meeting about his wedding and Meghan refused to disclose details of her dress, leaving the monarch ‘saddened’.

Her comments echo claims made previously in the Spectator magazine, that relations between Meghan, Harry and his grandmother were rather more complicated than the Sussexes have made out. 

According to a source, the Queen made some strongly-worded remarks about Meghan and Harry’s union to guests at Balmoral just a month before she died. 

The source said: ‘It was out of character for the Queen…but she saw straight through Meghan.

‘At the drinks before the dinner, a small group were talking to the monarch and she explained that Harry meeting Meghan had become a complete catastrophe.

‘By this point we all knew the Queen’s health was in decline and she had months left, she seemed regretful about how things had panned out.’

By this stage, Harry and Meghan had stepped down as working royals and were living a new life in Montecito. 

When ‘Megxit’ was announced in January 2020, the late monarch released a statement saying: ‘Harry, Meghan and Archie will always be much loved members of my family.’

That is not to say that relations between the couple and the monarch were always on an amicable footing with things beginning to sour during the planning of the couple’s wedding, according to Lady Liza Anson. 

Born in Windsor Castle, Lady Elizabeth, a great-niece of the Queen Mother and a goddaughter of King George VI, was a high-society party planner.

The Queen’s first cousin, who arranged the Queen’s 80th birthday party, allegedly said just days before Meghan and Harry’s wedding: ‘We hope but don’t quite think she is in love. We think she engineered it all.’

Meghan was apparently ‘full of charm’ and appeared ‘natural, intelligent, and thoughtful’ after she became engaged to Harry in 2017. But as the wedding approached, Meghan allegedly became increasingly ‘bossy’ and Liza said the Queen was privately ‘very worried’.

Ms Bedell Smith wrote: ‘When we spoke two weeks before the May 19 wedding, Liza had just heard from the Queen. “The Number One Lady—I call her Jemima—says the jury is out on whether she likes Meghan,” said Liza.

“My Jemima is very worried.” In Liza’s view, “Harry is besotted and weak about women. 

Liza apparently said: ‘It’s worrying that so many people are questioning whether Meghan is right for Harry. The problem, bless his heart, is that Harry is neither bright nor strong, and she is both’.

The cracks apparently appeared in February 2018. Liza claimed Harry wrote to her and said that his grandmother was ‘content’ with the way the wedding plans were coming along.

But Sally Bedell Smith wrote that Liza had said: ‘When I spoke with the Queen, she said she is not at all content’.

Ms Bedell Smith wrote: ‘According to Liza, the Queen was dismayed that Harry had asked the Archbishop of Canterbury to perform the wedding service in St. George’s Chapel without first requesting permission from the Dean of Windsor.

“Harry seems to think the Queen can do what she wants, but she can’t,” said Liza. “On the religious side, it is the Dean of Windsor’s jurisdiction.” As a result, Liza said that “Harry has blown his relationship with his grandmother.

She said she was really upset. I was shocked when the Queen told me this, how she was so saddened. I had no idea about the conversation, that he was rude to her for ten minutes. They had tea with her the day before yesterday. She was trying to find out about the wedding dress, and Meghan wouldn’t tell her.”.’

Liza at this point predicted that Meghan could ‘turn into nothing but trouble’, remarking that the Suits actress ‘sees things in a different way’.

Following these February rows, towards the end of April, Liza claimed that “the Queen and Harry have patched things up’.

Harry apparently visited her alone to smooth things over and later wrote to with more wedding details.

Sally Bedell Smith wrote: ‘Liza also said that Meghan’s father, Thomas Markle, was “frightened of coming to the wedding.” I asked her if Meghan was being bossy. “So I gather,” Liza replied, “Very much so.”

‘My Jemima is very worried’, Liza apparently added.

Ingrid Seward, one of the most prominent and respected writers on the British Royal Family, also discussed the nuptials in her book, My Mother and I. 

The royal biographer wrote: ‘The Queen never voiced her true opinions except to her close confidants, such as Lady Elizabeth Anson, or Liza as she was known to her friends.

‘She told me that the Queen had made only one remark about Meghan and Harry’s wedding and that was that Meghan’s Givenchy wedding gown was “too white”.’

‘In the monarch’s view, it was not appropriate for a divorcee getting remarried in church to look quite so flamboyantly virginal,’ Seward added.

Meghan had previously been married to Hollywood film producer Trevor Engelson between 2011 and 2014. 

Traditionally, divorcee brides are expected to forgo a white dress and opt for a different colour.

When Harry and Meghan announced their plans to step down as working royals in 2020 the Queen tried to find a compromise to stop ‘Megxit’.      

The Sussexes claimed their decision to ‘step back as senior members’ was to become more financially independent and to enjoy privacy from the prying eyes of the media. 

At the time it seemed plausible that these wishes could be fulfilled alongside an agreement to represent the Crown at a select number of events every year. 

However, according to royal author Valentine Low, any prospect of a soft ‘Megxit’ was scuppered by the Sussexes over finances.

Writing in his tell-all book Courtiers, Low claims that Meghan’s desire to ‘earn money for herself’ led the couple to abandon their duties entirely.

Low revealed that during discussions about how to reach a happy middle ground – which could please the whole family – multiple scenarios were explored. 

These ranged from Harry and Meghan ‘having a month a year to do their own thing’ to ‘spending most of their time privately but doing a select number of royal activities’.

The one caveat for the Sussexes continuing royal duties – however small or minor – was that they must stick to the ‘normal rules about royal behaviour’. 

This would mean Harry and Meghan could not ‘act or take decisions in order to gain financially’.

Low writes: ‘Crucially, it was the Queen who took the view that unless they were prepared to abide by the restrictions that applied to working members of the Royal Family, they could not be allowed to carry out official duties.’

When Harry and Meghan welcomed their first daughter – Lilibet – in June 2021 the late Queen was allegedly left upset by the choice of name. 

Lilibet was a term of endearment for Elizabeth that was only used by the royals and close friends. The name was coined by her grandfather, King George V, because Elizabeth could not pronounce her name as a toddler. 

While the Sussexes chose the name as a touching tribute, it is understood Elizabeth was left upset by the decision. 

She allegedly told an aide: ‘I don’t own the palaces, I don’t own the paintings, the only thing I own is my name. And now they’ve taken that.’ 

In his biography of King Charles, royal insider and Daily Mail columnist Robert Hardman wrote that one of the late Queen’s staff told him she was ‘as angry as I’d ever seen her’ after the Duke and Duchess publicly stated they would not have used her private family nickname if she had not been ‘supportive’. 

The BBC’s royal correspondent, Jonny Dymond, reported being told by a ‘Palace source’ that the Queen was ‘never asked’ by Harry and Meghan about the use of her childhood nickname.

He said the insider ‘disputed’ reports in the wake of the announcement of the name that the couple had spoken to the Queen.

The Sussexes’ spokesman did not hesitate to denounce the report and insisted the Queen was the first family member Harry called about his daughter’s birth.

He said that during their conversation ‘he shared their hope of naming their daughter Lilibet in her honour. Had she not been supportive, they would not have used the name’.

They then used their favoured legal firm, Schillings, to issue a letter to the BBC and other media outlets threatening action – suggesting the report that the Queen was not asked for permission was ‘false and defamatory and should not be repeated’.

Notably, the BBC did not back down.  

Despite posting their good wishes on social media, Buckingham Palace flatly refused to be ‘co-opted’ into ‘propping up’ Harry and Meghan’s version of events, according to Hardman.

They firmly ‘rebuffed’ their requests to do so, which ultimately, it seems, led to the Sussexes’ threats of legal action dissipating.

There were further questions for the couple when it later emerged they had registered Lilibet Diana as a ‘domain name’ on the internet before their daughter was born and they had seemingly asked the Queen for permission.

Lilibet’s birth coincided with a revival in the name’s popularity.