Cat fight!

If you thought the success of the WNBA meant women’s athletics had finally progressed beyond sexy mudwrestling and lingerie football, think again.

In the game on Tuesday between Caitlin Clark’s Indian Fever and the Connecticut Sun, the situation took a Mean Girly turn early on – culminating in Sun player Jacy Sheldon poking Clark in the eyes.

While I can enjoy a good old hair-pulling fight like the next person, this Three Stooges-like behavior is not anyone’s idea of fun. (And if it happens to be yours, it might be time to seek professional help.)

Caitlin responded to the unwarranted eye-poke with a reasonable (and some might say mild) shove, triggering a full-blown scuffle that resulted in the Sun’s Marina Mabrey delivering a cheap shot that sent Clark to the ground.

A few fines were handed out. Some technical fouls were called (on both sides). And Clark limps on.

But that’s not fair.

Whether she is being woman-handled on the court or the target of racist abuse by other players (like pot-smoking, former Russian gulag guest Brittney Griner, who reportedly mouthed ‘f****ing white girl’ at Clark), it seems like number 22 is being treated worse than Guy Fieri at a vegan hairdresser convention.

In Tuesday’s game between Caitlin Clark ‘s Indian Fever and the Connecticut Sun things got Mean Girly very early – and the drama culminated in Sun goon Jacy Sheldon jabbing Clark in the peepers (pictured).

Caitlin countered the unwelcome eye-gouge with an understandable (and arguably understated) shove, which led to an all-out fracas and a sucker-shove by the Sun’s Marina Mabrey that sent Clark to the ground (pictured). 

Could you imagine the NBA or the NFL looking the other way if LeBron James or Tom Brady were the target of weekly cheap shots? Heck, D-linemen can hardly get away with messing up a quarterback’s hair. But it’s open season on Clark.

‘It’s been happening all season long. It’s not just this game, it’s been happening all season long,’ said Stephanie White after Tuesday’s game. ‘I started talking to the officials in the first quarter, and we knew this was gonna happen. You could tell it was gonna happen. They gotta get control of it, they gotta be better.’

I’m starting to think the lady league likes to see Caitlin getting the stuffing knocked out of her, which is strange because she’s their meal ticket.

TV viewership soared the moment Clark joined the league. Her debut game attracted 2.13 million viewers, the most watched WNBA game since 2001. And after she recently sat out five games for a strained quad muscle, ratings tanked 55 percent.

Now, we hear that the jersey of Fever player Sophie Cunningham, who rushed to Clark’s defense during Tuesday’s brawl, has sold out.

Perhaps, when the WNBA league execs watch Clark getting beaten up, they see dollar signs.

As the mother of two sporty girls, it all makes me sick. Female athletes don’t need to be bubble-wrapped, but they shouldn’t be objects of abuse either.

Are they too scared to take a stand against league bullies, jealous that little ole’ Caitlin can do what they can’t?

TV viewership soared the moment Caitlin Clark (pictured) joined the league. Her debut game attracted 2.13 million viewers, the most watched WNBA game since 2001. And after she recently sat out five games for a strained quad muscle, ratings tanked 55 percent.

Now, we hear that the jersey of Fever player Sophie Cunningham, who rushed to Clark’s defense during Tuesday’s brawl, has sold out. (Pictured: Caitlin Clark and teammate Sophie Cunningham). 

Well, I agree with the suggestion of a few others that Caitlin should take her ball and go home.

After all, her star is arguably bigger than the league.

‘I’m starting to think Caitlin Clark should just leave the WNBA and start her own new pro league,’ wrote conservative commentator and Outkick founder Clay Travis on Thursday. ‘May sound crazy,’ he wrote. ‘But if I could buy stock in Caitlin or the rest of the WNBA without her, I’m buying Caitlin Clark stock over the entire WNBA combined without her.’

Others have floated Clark playing in Europe or Ice Cube’s new three-on-three pro basketball league. Of course, Caitlin is too much of a competitor not to want to play in the most competitive league around.

But if I were her, I’d be eyeing my exit.

Oh boy

Michelle Obama’s Barack-bashing tour continues.

Speaking on her woeful podcast IMO (please make the next one MIA), she waxed pathetic about why she’s glad she never had sons.

‘I’m so glad I didn’t have a boy… because he would have been a Barack Obama.’ Jeez, lady, get a divorce already.

Straight Up

Newly minted man-eater and former pansexual turned lesbian JoJo Siwa is blaming the gays for her mistaken self-outing, saying, ”When I came out at 17, I said: “I’m pansexual, because I don’t care [about gender].”

Sounding a high-kick short of a full dance routine, she ‘explained,’ ‘Then I kind of boxed myself in and I said: “I’m a lesbian.” And I think I did that because of pressure… from inside the [LGBTQ] community at times.’

Someone loosen Jojo’s high ponytail before it cuts off the blood supply to her brain entirely.

Me-Me-Me Again

Meghan Markle is relaunching her dopey lifestyle brand ‘As Ever’… again. The dozy Duchess posted to Instagram with the tease, ‘No more sleeps’.

Is she rebranding herself as a 5-year-old girl on Christmas morning?

Big Fat Liar

Former fatso Lizzo has finally admitted what anyone with a TV and eyeballs already knew, she jabbed herself with Ozempic to achieve her startling weight loss.

Back in September, she took to Instagram to suggest that she shed the pounds through healthy habits, posting, ‘When you finally get Ozempic allegations after 5 months or weight training and calorie deficit’.

Well, it seems the only weight-lifting she was doing was hauling her Ozempic deliveries from the doorstep to the fridge.

Truth hurts!

Short and Spicy

Sabrina Carpenter’s latest album art dropped this week, and with it the jaws of prudes. She’s on hands and knees, with her disheveled hair balled up and held in the fist of a man who is just out of frame.

Slut-shamers be damned, this pint-size sexpot knows what she’s doing. Sex sells and she has a message for anyone who slams her for using it. ‘Clearly you love sex. You’re obsessed with it.’ Quite right Sabrina – they’re the problem, it’s them.

Sabrina Carpenter’s latest album art dropped this week, and with it the jaws of prudes. She’s on hands and knees, with her disheveled hair balled up and held in the fist of a man who is just out of frame.

Cash-strapped cowgirls

Push your boobs together and dust off your Crest Whitestrips, season 2 of ‘America’s Sweethearts’ is back on Netflix. 

At $15,000 a year, the genetically blessed Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders make less money than teenage babysitters. But owner Jerry Jones’s daughter (and Chief Brand Officer) Charlotte, says they, ‘don’t come for the money, they have a passion for dance.’

Right… I’m sure the front row access to the multi-million dollar meatheads has nothing to do with it.

Push your boobs together and dust off your Crest Whitestrips, season 2 of ‘America’s Sweethearts’ is back on Netflix.

LonelyFans

The putrid hellhole known as OnlyFans knows no limits, right? WRONG! Rode-hard porn star Bonnie Blue – who bagged 1,057 dudes in one day and is seeking to upend her record with 2,000 new sausages in a 24-hour shag-a-thon – has been banned for life.

Now she’s taking her talents somewhere even more disgusting – Andrew Tate’s podcast. Someone get this girl a therapist!