DEAR ABBY: I recently received a severe diagnosis of liver disease (non-alcoholic) and need to shed 30 pounds. In the past five years, I have battled cancer twice, in addition to dealing with arthritis. To improve my liver health, I have committed myself to strictly adhering to my doctor’s recommendations of consuming organic, low-fat foods, and engaging in daily exercise. I am also gearing up for surgery in the coming months.

I am currently residing with family members who claim to support me, but they react with anger when I decline invitations to indulge in all-you-can-eat buffets, buttered popcorn at movies, fast food, and pastries. In fact, one of them even became upset when I declined a trip to a deli for a massive salami sandwich. Despite truthfully stating that I wasn’t hungry, this incident led me to lose my focus. I stopped my daily weigh-ins and started regressing.

I am feeling discouraged about my health improvement journey. These family members were present during my medical consultation and are fully aware of my diagnosis. How can I maintain my resilience without having to move out? After all, it’s my own house! — SICK AND TIRED IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR SICK AND TIRED: It’s time to reaffirm your desire to live. Because of your health problems, this will mean making changes that will be lifelong. Ask your doctor for a referral to a registered dietitian who can guide you in making those adjustments, and when you have your first consultations, bring your sabotaging relatives with you. When they deliberately tempt you to stray from this lifesaving program, they are encouraging you to risk your life. If they are unwilling to get on board, then they — not you — should move out.

DEAR ABBY: Every time my granddaughter and I talk, she always tells me to let her talk. I’m getting older, and one day I won’t be here for her to tell me to let her talk. Believe me, I know. I’d give anything to talk to my Big Mama once more. I finally blew up and told her that one day I won’t be here and to have a good day. I haven’t spoken to her since. 

Most of the time, I have to call or go by to see my great-grandsons, if I see them at all. I’m tired of being the only one to make an effort. I love her with all my heart, but my heart has feelings, too. Please advise. — OVERLOOKED IN MISSISSIPPI

DEAR OVERLOOKED: I know you are hurting, and for that I am sorry. But when someone says, “Let ME talk,” it usually means that the other talker is hogging the conversation. I doubt your granddaughter said it to be mean. She may be busier than you are. Conversations are supposed to be shared, not turned into lectures. Because you have important life lessons you want to impart, consider writing them in a journal or recording them.

Since you seem to be making all the effort to see your great-grandsons, perhaps it’s time to concentrate less on your children’s children and put more effort into socializing with contemporaries. If you do, you may find it equally, if not more, rewarding.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.