DEAR ABBY: I am deeply saddened by the fact that my friendship with my best friend, “Carla,” has faded away over the past few years. The reason for our disconnect arose when her son’s wedding required evening cocktail attire at a venue located an hour and a half away from my home. Unfortunately, I do not drive, and financial constraints added to my worries about attending the event.

I reached out to Carla to explain my predicament, expressing my inability to afford an Uber to the venue, which would have cost me over $200. My hope was to hitch a ride with her since the wedding party had accommodations at the venue’s hotel. I had hoped she might offer me a ride and the opportunity to stay overnight with her, but unfortunately, that invitation never came to fruition, resulting in my inability to attend the wedding.

Carla did not return my calls following the incident and has since maintained radio silence towards me. This has been particularly distressing as we shared a close friendship for a quarter of a century. Carla has even relocated out of state since then, further widening the physical gap between us. My heart aches from missing her companionship. Given the prolonged estrangement, I am torn between reaching out to Carla once more or accepting the situation as it stands. Your perspective on this matter would be greatly appreciated. — MISSING MY FRIEND IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR MISSING: Weddings can be complicated affairs, and it’s likely that Carla was stressed and distracted because of the number of guests and all the activities related to the wedding at the hotel. To have expected her to provide you with transportation and share her room with you may have been regarded as presumptuous. 

If you would like to hear her side of this and gain some closure, by all means, reach out. But because you are now so geographically distant, do not expect to resurrect the relationship you had with her.

DEAR ABBY: I have been married for 44 years, and we have a married son and one grandson. My husband and I moved closer to our son and daughter-in-law five years ago. Once or twice a year, my husband reminds me that I “ruined his life” by forcing him to move closer to our grandson. On top of that, he dislikes our son’s mother-in-law, something he has made clear to me. He doesn’t want to attend holiday dinners if the mother-in-law is there. (Fortunately, our daughter-in-law is not aware that he dislikes her mother.) 

I’m tired of worrying about whether he’ll attend our grandson’s sports activities or events if the other grandmother is there. At this point, I’m actually considering divorce so I won’t be so miserable. Any advice would be appreciated. — FATIGUED IN FLORIDA

DEAR FATIGUED: Unless you hogtied your husband, he must have agreed to move closer to your son and his family. Is the only reason he’s miserable this dislike of his DIL’s mother, or is it that he is separated from his friends? If it’s the former, go without your husband to your grandson’s events and let him stay home. If it’s more than that, perhaps it might be better for him to return to the community in which he was more comfortable.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.