DEAR ABBY: After being apart for 30 years, my high school sweetheart and I recently got married. Despite both being in our 50s, we opted for a simple ceremony without any fanfare, just the two of us deeply in love and enjoying our special moment. The only family member we informed was my older sister, who insisted on being involved in some way — whether by signing as a witness, bringing a cake, or providing flowers. Reluctantly, we agreed to let her come along to the courthouse, where she enthusiastically took numerous photographs that will hold sentimental value for years to come.

The problem started after the courthouse ceremony when she insisted we go celebrate. Although we had made other plans, we agreed. Well, one bar turned into her taking charge, getting way too drunk, demanding we do this and that, and going to another place. We shut her down and returned to the hotel to eat the cake we didn’t ask for. 

She drank more, was too drunk to drive, then passed out for six hours. When she finally came to, she was “so embarrassed” and left. So, instead of the magical day (and night) we had planned, we fell asleep because we had early plans the next day. Problem is, I cannot forgive her. I don’t even want to see her. How can I get past this? — UNHAPPY BRIDE IN FLORIDA

DEAR BRIDE: OK, your sister has a drinking problem. If this was the first time you noticed, I can understand why the situation became out of control. If it wasn’t, then “get past this” by recognizing your part in what happened.

After the ceremony, when your sister wanted to go “celebrate,” you and your husband should have told her that what she was proposing wasn’t what you had planned, and parted ways.

DEAR ABBY: I have had a friend for many years. We’re from the same hometown and enjoyed getting together weekly for Saturday morning breakfasts and long chats about our highlights and sometimes our lows. We considered each other best friends. 

Several years ago, she found a boyfriend (also a retired person), and since then, she no longer makes time for our get-togethers. It has been two years since she could make it for a meal or a glass of wine or a quick drop-by chat. Now when we do talk on the phone, it’s limited to a “How are you? I am fine” kind of conversation. 

Although I continue sending cards and dropping off a holiday gift like we used to, there’s barely any acknowledgment. I no longer feel inclined to keep up one-sided, frustrating phone contacts. Must I just let it all go, fade into the distance, and be satisfied that this has run its course? — LEFT BEHIND IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR LEFT BEHIND: Your friend’s life has moved in a different direction. Because she is now devoting her energy to the relationship she has with her boyfriend, the answer to your question is yes.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.