In 1984 I was running a school in Central Africa just as the Aids pandemic hit.

At the time, we had no idea what was happening or why formerly fit and healthy men and women were suddenly starting to fade and die before our eyes, leaving many young orphans.

It was in a part of Zambia where there was little to offer in terms of healthcare, infrastructure or social support.

We were only there for a year, but it was one of the most memorable periods of my life – not least because of the despair and devastation that my late husband Paul and I witnessed as HIV took its toll.

We talked often of the people we knew and worked with over the years. A favourite was Swahna. I can still hear his laugh and see his face the day I brought an English bull terrier to the house, and he asked me: ‘Is this dog or is this pig?’

Swahna would tie rags to his feet, put on a Beatles LP and turn the volume up as he danced around the room, singing along at the top of his voice while polishing the parquet floor.

Before our return to the UK, he wanted only a smart trilby hat for himself, a pink hat with feathers for his wife and a pushbike with a basket as leaving gifts. He refused the money we tried to give him until we insisted.

Only months later, we heard that both Swahna and his wife had mysteriously died within weeks of each other, leaving a beloved young daughter behind.

Some say the Duchess of Sussex hijacked a photo opportunity at the Royal Salute Polo Challenge  in 2024, ushering Sentebale chair Sophie Chandauka away from the prince’s side

The prince appears to be accused of bullying, racism and harassment by Sentebale’s chair, Dr Sophie Chandauka

When, in 2006, Prince Harry co-founded his charity, Sentebale, established in memory of his late mother Princess Diana to help youngsters orphaned by Aids in the tiny African nation of Lesotho, I was both touched and impressed. He was just 21 years old, and this was a much needed initiative in one of the countries hardest hit by Aids.

In the years since, the charity expanded its work in Southern Africa and seemed to go from strength to strength – until now.

The mass resignation of trustees last week was followed by the stepping down of Prince Harry and his co-founder, Prince Seeiso of Lesotho, as patrons.

Then came the hard-hitting allegations by Sentebale’s chair, Dr Sophie Chandauka, of bullying, harassment and racism that appear to be targeted at Harry himself.

I was once reluctant to dive in and criticise Harry for the many things he was accused of as a teenager and young man. Like millions of us, I always retained a soft spot for the young prince, even during his wayward years before he buckled down to join the Army and serve in Afghanistan.

However, things changed when he married Meghan, and they took the dramatic decision to exit life as working royals. Instead of public duty, they appeared hellbent on cashing in on their titles with those eye-watering Netflix and podcast deals.

In his own memoir in 2023, Spare, he spared no one as he defended Meghan from racism and misogyny allegedly perpetrated by close members of his own family.

Never, though, did I believe that what followed ‘Megxit’ was solely Harry’s decision – or even what he wanted. And for me there was no clearer demonstration of that than the excruciating moment in their 2022 Netflix documentary when he sat back and watched as Meghan executed a low curtsey in an anecdote that many agreed disparaged our late Queen.

Prince Seeiso of Lesotho and Prince Harry attending a welcome event at Sentebale in 2024. The pair both stepped down as patrons last week following mass resignations at the charity

At that moment, the prince’s eyes were sad, his expression, unsure. He was certainly not comfortable.

Yet another example came in April last year with that revealing – and unflattering – footage of Meghan apparently hijacking a photo-opportunity at a fund-raising polo match for Sentebale.

We learn now from Dr Chandauka that the Duchess of Sussex was not expected but suddenly turned up (with a celebrity friend in tow), and the chaotic scenes of Meghan twice appearing to usher the charity boss away from Harry’s side during the prize-giving were the result.

Dr Chandauka claimed at the weekend that she was asked by Harry to defend Meghan from criticism after the video went viral, which she declined to do.

I wonder if that was the day the campaign Dr Chandauka claims has been waged to have her removed from her post at Sentebale was launched?

I think it may have been Piers Morgan who was the first to suggest that Meghan was a narcissist, and he has since said it repeatedly. I’m afraid to say, I agree with him. And herein I believe lies the explanation for Harry’s – at times inexplicable – behaviour.

That is not to excuse the prince in any way. He is an adult – a 40-year-old father of two – with agency and perspective. But how can he have tolerated some of Meghan’s more questionable actions?

Secretly I have always felt that there is only one excuse left for Harry’s behaviour, all others having been plundered. Is he the ‘flying monkey’ – that’s a psychological term used to describe someone who enables, or defends and excuses, the behaviour of a narcissist – to Meghan?

The term comes from The Wizard Of Oz in which the Wicked Witch put flying monkeys under her spell. Flying monkeys are those people who will defend a narcissist; who will justify and explain away their behaviour while not seeing or understanding what is happening around them.

Typically, such enablers have personality flaws of their own, are needy and easily taken in by narcissists, who can be charming and effusive if it suits their manipulative purpose or draws attention.

From what we have learned about her, I believe the Duchess of Sussex shows narcissistic traits, including a need for admiration, a sense of entitlement and self-importance, and even a lack of empathy (given her estrangement from much of her own family).

Continuing with my armchair psychologist’s hat on, I understand that, over time, enablers can be left feeling isolated and miserable as those around them become disenchanted with the narcissist and begin to disengage.

Some friends of Prince Harry have said that they are increasingly worried about him. He reportedly barely leaves his Montecito mansion in California, and they fear he has become, in effect, Meghan’s ‘spare’ as she has launched a new lifestyle show – well worth the watch to see what narcissistic charm and fakery looks like in action – and a podcast in quick succession.

I have some sympathy for Harry. It must be devastating to see the possible implosion of a charity that meant so much to him and to face such upsetting allegations over his conduct. My sincere hope is that someone from his press team flags up this column to him and that he picks up the phone to his therapist.

And if there is salvation to be had for this prodigal son, then it’s to be found in getting back to doing what he does best – raising awareness of the plight of the orphans of Africa or of the wounded military veterans in his other great charitable initiative, Invictus.