DEAR ABBY: I’m a 56-year-old individual who has shared my life with my husband for 12 years. However, I’m less enthusiastic about the long journey—an hour and a half drive— to visit my husband’s grandchildren. I’ve accompanied him many times in the past but have decided I’d rather not continue. Children and babies just aren’t my cup of tea. Despite this, my husband persists in urging me to join him and seems puzzled by my reluctance. I wholeheartedly support his visits and encourage him to go without me, yet his constant insistence is starting to create a rift in our relationship. Am I in the wrong for wanting to opt out? — CHILD-FREE IN CALIFORNIA
DEAR CHILD-FREE: It’s possible your husband might share your lack of enthusiasm for that long drive, but he could be seeking your companionship to make the trip more bearable. Marriage often involves supporting each other through less-than-favorite activities out of love and commitment. While it’s unreasonable to expect you to accompany him every single time, it would be considerate and supportive to join him on his visits more often than not. A positive attitude can go a long way in these situations.
DEAR ABBY: My husband is currently serving a life sentence, though there’s a possibility of parole. He surrendered a year and a half ago for an offense committed 15 years back.
Recently, about seven months ago, I met someone new. This individual is deeply involved with his church and runs a ministry that provides meals to the homeless. At this point, I’m uncertain about where our relationship is headed. The guilt I carry is overwhelming at times. I would greatly appreciate your guidance. — CONFLICTED IN GEORGIA
DEAR CONFLICTED: It’s essential to have an open and honest discussion with your husband regarding your feelings and the new chapter in your life. Communicate to him that living as though you’re widowed for an indefinite number of years is something you find challenging. Together, you can decide the best path forward. Keep in mind, though, your new relationship is still in its early stages, and its future is not assured.
DEAR ABBY: Our friend “Leo” married a girl who treats him poorly. She degrades him in front of people about his finances, weight, looks, etc. They have been married only a couple of years and have no kids. Leo is a great person, and his mental health is getting beaten down daily. Should we say something to him? We want him to know we would support him if he wanted to divorce her. He has limited family — his friends are family. — STEPPING UP IN IDAHO
DEAR STEPPING UP: Because you and Leo’s other friends believe he is being abused, I see no reason to remain silent and pretend it isn’t happening. An intervention may be called for, as well as an opportunity to reinforce the message that you are all there for him regardless of what he chooses to do about his marriage.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.