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DEAR ABBY: Back in the early 1970s during our college days, I met “Bobbie.” Our connection blossomed into love, leading to marriage that lasted seven years before we amicably parted ways. Both of us pursued rewarding careers and found happiness in second marriages. Through the years, we kept in touch, mainly exchanging holiday greetings.
Recently, Bobbie began emailing me about memories and experiences we once cherished together. Earlier this year, we both faced the loss of our spouses. Last summer, I visited her while catching up with other friends, and we enjoyed a delightful brunch. She looked wonderful.
Would it be foolish to consider reigniting our romance after five decades? Although she now resides far away, I’ve often contemplated returning to my hometown. It’s evident we still hold dear the ideals of our younger years, and my feelings for her have always lingered. I may not have much to offer now, but the solitude can be overwhelming. — REFLECTIVE IN WYOMING
DEAR REFLECTIVE: It’s not unreasonable to think about rekindling your bond with Bobbie, but proceed with patience. If you’re considering moving back to your hometown, treat that decision independently of any romantic aspirations. Relocating only to find that things don’t unfold as anticipated could leave you having to rebuild your social life from scratch.
DEAR ABBY: My son has tied the knot with “Kayla,” who has been my daughter’s closest companion since childhood. This young woman has held a special place in my heart since she was little. Her marriage into our family was a source of immense joy for me.
Kayla and my son now have had a baby, and I am not allowed to see the child. The only people who get to see the baby are Kayla’s mother and her mother’s family. Kayla’s parents are divorced, so her father doesn’t see his grandchild often either, but it’s far more often than my husband and I do. I wrote a text to my son. It wasn’t a nice one, but please remember I haven’t been able to see my grandchild.
I don’t know what to do. I’m heartbroken. I did tell them I was sorry and I shouldn’t have written what I did, but they still keep me at arm’s length. In addition, they have just announced that I’m going to be a grandmother again. I’m not overjoyed about the news, knowing what it’s been like with this first child. I’m sure it will be more of the same with the new baby. I love my grandchildren and their parents, but I’m tired of being the bad guy. Advice? — KEPT AWAY IN TENNESSEE
DEAR KEPT AWAY: It is not unusual for new mothers to gravitate toward their own mothers after the birth of a child. Why do I suspect there may be more to this estrangement than one nasty text written to your son? I wish you had mentioned what may have caused a rift between you and Kayla, whom you say you have loved since she was a little girl.
Because apologizing to your son and daughter-in-law was not enough to assuage their anger, you are finally going to have to accept that this regrettable situation is one you cannot change on your own.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.