DEAR ABBY: How do I tell my friend I feel she needs a mental health evaluation?

For the past 20 years, she has been my closest friend, and we have faced numerous challenges together. Her marriage to a seemingly kind man has lasted a couple of years.

However, Abby is certain that she is being followed, though she is uncertain about the identity of the perpetrator or the motives behind it. She confides in me about intense arguments with her husband, suspecting that he engineers incidents in public settings.

For instance, she claims he seats himself in a position to look at other women. The poor man is blind in one eye and has limited vision in the other.

Moreover, she suspects her husband’s ex-wife of making advances towards him and suspects him of infidelity, despite their divorce two decades ago. Her resentment towards his involvement with his grandchildren and family stems from these suspicions.

I should add that her mother was diagnosed with early-onset Alzheimer’s at around her age. It’s heartbreaking to watch.

I have mentioned it numerous times, as well as suggesting she speak to a pastor (she thinks the church may be in on it) or a therapist, but she tends to dodge it.

If I try to contact her husband, she will start to think I’m a traitor. I don’t know how to help. Please advise. — TRAINWRECK IN ARIZONA

DEAR TRAINWRECK: From your description of your friend’s paranoid and irrational behavior, she appears to be sick.

Because neither you nor I are qualified to diagnose what has gone wrong with her, she needs to be evaluated by a doctor.

It would not be betraying her to discuss this with her beleaguered husband, who may be at a loss about how to deal with her behavior. Rather than a betrayal, seeing that she gets help would be a tremendous favor.

DEAR ABBY: I am a “young” senior citizen (age 90). People sometimes think I’m in my early 60s because I look and act it. I have been widowed three times by women younger than I. 

I recently met a woman I’m very attracted to. I think the feeling may be mutual. We have a lot in common.

The first time we talked on the phone, the conversation lasted more than three hours.

Last evening, I learned while talking on the phone with her that I’m older than her mother by one year. Would you advise me to “back off”? — JUST A NUMBER IN COLORADO

DEAR JUST A NUMBER: If this woman’s mother is 89, she probably had her daughter between the ages of 20 and 30. This would make the woman to whom you are attracted between 59 and 69.

I see no reason for you to “back off” or obscure your age. Because the two of you have a lot in common, enjoy the relationship.

(If she’s brave enough to be with you after you have killed off three younger women, more power to her!)

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.