DEAR ABBY: My former husband, “Hank,” and I share two sons. Both are bright, compassionate, college-educated, and have grown into diligent, independent young men.

Unfortunately, Hank is not on speaking terms with our younger son, “Andrew.” The inability of Andrew to meet his father’s high standards contributed significantly to the breakdown of my marriage with Hank.

Hank would often provoke arguments with Andrew, making hurtful remarks like, “You are not my son.” He would later qualify this by saying Andrew doesn’t behave like his older brother. He would also say things like, “You didn’t call last week, so I’m not going to assist you today.”

As a mother, witnessing this has been heartbreaking, and it’s been equally distressing for Andrew to experience. Thankfully, the bond between the brothers remains strong.

I firmly believe that children should feel loved by their parents without having to constantly prove their worth. It saddens me deeply that Andrew cannot rely on his father to offer unconditional support.

Andrew had emergency surgery this week, and Hank never bothered to check in to ask how he was doing.

We have tried therapy. Is there anything else that would help with the estrangement between a father and a son? — MOM WHO MUST ALSO BE DAD

DEAR MOM: What a sad letter, and what a poor excuse for a husband and father. Your ex-husband engineered the estrangement, and nothing you or Andrew can do will fix it.

You didn’t mention how Andrew’s lack of a healthy relationship with his father has affected him. Was the therapy that was tried family therapy? Marriage counseling for you and your ex? Individual therapy for your son?

It’s possible that a licensed mental health professional might help Andrew come to terms with the years of emotional neglect he has suffered, but only if he agrees he needs it.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 36-year-old woman from Pakistan. I read your advice with great interest.

Since childhood, it was always hard for me to make friends. People who I liked I pushed hard to be friends with, but I guess I came across as too clingy. I’m the one who initiates most contact with my old school friends.

Now I see the same thing happening with my 7-year-old son. When his cousins or my cousins’ kids come and he plays with them, he wants to maintain friendships with them through video calls, voice messages, etc.

I can see that the other kids and their parents aren’t as interested in maintaining friendships, including my brother and his daughter.

My son is sensitive like I was. How do I explain to him that he shouldn’t expect everyone to be his friend without giving him the impression that “nobody cares”? — SAD MOM IN PAKISTAN

DEAR SAD MOM: Friendships have to evolve naturally. Often this happens through shared interests. What is your son interested in? Is he involved in sports or other activities outside of school?

While it is true that no one can “expect” others to be close friends, relationships form as a result of exposure to a variety of activities and individuals.

Your fear that your son will turn out to have the same social difficulties that you do may be groundless. He may need exposure to more kids than he has had in order to find his way socially.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.