Rifts morph into chasms, eventually widening into a gorge of discord. Endless arguments and misunderstandings give way to the cold silence of non-communication. Mothers are left in pieces, fathers worry, children seem ungrateful, and siblings are troubled.

These fractured families, drowning in their own privilege, can’t seem to gather around a table, share a cup of tea, and reconcile. They persist in making spectacles of themselves and each other, unwilling to find common ground.

No one reaches out with an olive branch; resolutions and happy endings appear distant. Meanwhile, the drama unfolds in the public sphere, with those involved leveraging social media to bolster their positions, whether for moral support or financial gain. Does this scenario sound familiar?

Such unsettling family feuds as the Beckhams versus the Peltzes, the Ramsays against the Peatys, and even the Sussexes versus the Windsors serve as both a disheartening spectacle and a cautionary tale for our era.

These situations highlight a crucial lesson: commercializing one’s life and legacy, capitalizing on a name by spreading the thin veneer of identity over the fragile crust of public opinion, always comes at a cost. Most importantly, it risks blurring the line between business and family, overshadowing what truly matters.

For there can be no winners in these sagas of curdled love and twisted family dynamics, no one to emerge triumphant from these toxic situations amplified by fame, wealth and power.

There are families in war zones and on the poverty line who manage to be happier than this bunch of venal gargoyles.

It’s no secret that the weddings of Brooklyn Beckham to billionaire heiress Nicola Peltz and Holly Ramsay (daughter of chef Gordon) to Olympic swimmer Adam Peaty have each been the catalyst for monstrous family eruptions.

Gordon Ramsay and David Beckham have found themselves at the heart of family feuds

Why? At their respective ceremonies things didn’t go quite right for this quartet of spoilt kids, but there has been no hint of clemency, compassion or compromise from any of them.

Was Victoria Beckham’s behaviour really so ‘inappropriate’ that Brooklyn can’t forgive her? Perhaps she was just merely embarrassing, like most madly doting mothers?

And why couldn’t Holly and Adam find it in their hearts to invite Mrs Peaty to their wedding? What had Adam’s mum Caroline done that was so very terrible it deserved public humiliation?

Young people today are so self-important and over-sensitive, aren’t they? It’s all about the me, never about the we.

The behaviour of this band of newlyweds gives rise to the suspicion that they care less about their messy but loving families and more about public perception; not to mention their lucrative magazine deals with Vogue – which had lavish, exclusive coverage of both weddings.

And I am struck by the chilly similarities between Brooklyn and Holly, who are both 26 and have each achieved little of note in life except take advantage of being the nepo babies of driven, successful parents.

Both Brooklyn and Holly spent their early lives being commodified – to a greater or lesser degree – by their family. But let us not forget they also reaped the benefits of that success and exposure.

They’re the first of their generation of premier division pampered British nepos to grow up and graduate from the school of soft knocks – and this is how they react?

One wonders what the hell is coming next. And how will they behave when grandchildren start appearing on the scene?

Are they going to take a leaf out of the Duke and Duchess of Sussex’s playbook and maintain steely years of froideur, depriving their little ones of grandparent love? What a sadness that would be.

Adam Peaty’s decision not to have his parents at his wedding was unforgivable

All of this ugliness and unhappiness from some of the luckiest people on the planet? It reflects badly on them all.

That is one reason why it is hard to take sides here, because nearly everyone involved is so ludicrous, so egotistical, so selfish.

Brooklyn Beckham says he is free at last but he can barely write his own name, so don’t tell me he single-handedly composed that six-page fusillade of pique and pettiness (‘my mum called me evil’) all by himself.

During his brief tenure as a photographer – which came after he was a model, but before he became a breakfast sandwich chef – he published a book of wildlife photographs and wrote the accompanying text. ‘Elephants in Kenya. So hard to photograph but incredible to see.’

Now he is pleading for a life free from manipulation plus ‘peace, privacy and happiness for us and our future family’.

His bride Nicola Peltz, notable for her poor little rich girl baby-I-was-born-to-sulk face hardly seems any smarter or kinder.

Brooklyn’s attempt at a photography career was hardly well received

Holly Ramsay looked grasping and ridiculous turning up at Bath Abbey with a silly druid cape hiding her wedding dress from public view. Adam Peaty refusing to stand up for his poor mother? Unforgivable.

Sir David (must we?) appearing at Davos to pontificate grandly about sons who ‘make mistakes’. And poor Victoria turned into a global laughing stock but still selling out her new £104 bottles of foundation drops.

Oh, the pain of an ungrateful turncoat child must be unbearable, but this lot know the show must go on. And at least Lady Beckham might just have the last, bitter laugh.

The former Spice Girl has bagged her first solo number one following a social media campaign from sympathetic supporters on Team Mum which has pushed her to the top of the charts.

Her 2001 single Not Such An Innocent Girl – a track which showcased her raunchy dance moves – has shot to number one on the iTunes chart in the UK and Ireland.

If blubtastic Brooklyn Beckham was embarrassed before, he had better prepare himself for the ultimate cringe now: Mum dancing in latex, complete with fake boobs and floor writhing.

So hard to photograph but incredible to see. Waaaaaah!

How was case of Cotswold slave allowed to happen?

How astounding that a case of modern-day slavery was happening in the middle of Tewkesbury, a picturesque market town known as the gateway to the Cotswolds.

It went on for quarter of a century – and no one noticed. Or cared.

A woman in her 40s was imprisoned in a Tewksbury home for nearly 25 years by Amanda Wixon, a mother of ten who comes straight from the darker pages of a Grimms’ fairy tale. Wixon assumed responsibility for the vulnerable victim in 1995, moved her into the family home and has been claiming benefits for her – and making her life a weeping misery – ever since.

The unnamed woman was kept in squalid conditions, beaten, deprived of food and dental care, forced to work around the house under the threat of violence and fed on scraps.

The victim told Gloucester Crown Court how Wixon would strangle her, put her head down the toilet and pour cleaning fluids on her face and down her throat.

This monster has been found guilty and faces a lengthy jail sentence, yet shows no remorse. In the meantime, she also claimed multiple benefits for herself and her brood of children. ‘Every benefit going,’ said a neighbour.

It seems unlikely that such a calamitous household was entirely unknown to the authorities, don’t you think? So you have to wonder where Gloucestershire social services were during all this cruel mayhem?

At the very least, did no one ever bother to assess the needs or the condition of the victim, who had been receiving benefits for nearly 30 years, never once collecting them in person or applying for a job or showing up on any record?

Where were all the checks and balances? Everything about this case is utterly horrifying.

Naughty Nigella on Bake Off, yes please!

Nigella can rescue The Great British Bake Off

Holy meecro-wah-vey. Is Nigella really going to host The Great British Bake Off?

I think we can all agree she is the only person who can rescue this moribund show, which is now a pancake-flat, sunken souffle of its former glory. She is the only flavour saviour! Accept no substitutes.

Nigella’s last major UK television series was Cook, Eat, Repeat (BBC2) in 2020, but age has not dimmed her and hopefully neither has it withered her appetite for sugary smiles and huge dollops of utter sauce.

Does she still adore the way it comes bulging out over the rims? Are her empty vessels for ever ready to be loaded? And is a hint of inner thigh wibble still to be desired? I can hardly wait to find out.

If Nigella returns to the small screen to knead Paul Hollywood’s buns and Alan Carr is installed as the new host of Strictly Come Dancing, then 2026 is suddenly looking a lot brighter.

Kevin Costner alert! Ladies, put down your half pints of sauv blanc and compose yourselves. For our Kev (71) has finally mended his broken heart and is dating again.

The Yellowstone star has almost – almost! – recovered from having to give his ex-wife Christine assorted homes and approximately £47,000 in monthly support following their divorce, only for her to go and marry one of his (former) friends.

Kevin Costner has been helped through a difficult period by Kelly Gores

Now he is with Kelly Gores, a blonde and bubbly 51-year-old divorcee who has reportedly been a ‘grounding force’ for the handsome actor.

A grounding force? Poor Kelly! Who makes these thoughtless statements, leaving the ground wide open for equally thoughtless jokes about diggers and hoes – when lovely Kelly, above, is clearly none of these things.

Is she the kind of woman who knows how to operate Kevin’s motion-activated sprinkler and give him a good fork into the bargain? Stop it!

I’d like to apologise for these appalling innuendos and blame it squarely on the return of Nigella (see opposite page). In the meantime, nobody say anything about planting a seed.

The NHS is using pop star Harry Styles to encourage women to get cervical smears.

A campaign using a meme-style format featuring the celeb was shared by NHS England over the weekend and rapidly gained attention. It paired an image of Styles aged 16 auditioning on The X Factor back in 2010, with his recent fourth studio album announcement, alongside the message: ‘If you remember this Harry – and you’re excited for this Harry – it may be time for your cervical screening!’

Everybody means well, of course, and if the campaign reaches its target audience and the correct age demographic then perhaps we shouldn’t complain.

So why do I still feel that it is a bit patronising and vaguely insulting to women?

Beatrice, left, and Eugenie

Royals staying loyal to Mum 

No, he hasn’t even moved in yet, but pest control experts have already been called to Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor’s new home on the Sandringham estate. There is a problem with moles, apparently.

Meanwhile, relations between the former Duke of York and his two daughters remain in the deep freeze, but Princesses Beatrice and Eugenie are still on good terms with their mother. Why? If they are punishing Andrew for his relationship with Jeffrey Epstein, shouldn’t they have issues with dear Mama, too?