Beloved YouTube personality Max Gilardi has left his audience in disbelief with his recent revelation about seeking euthanasia in Switzerland.
Hailing from Gloucester, Massachusetts, the 38-year-old revealed his decision on Sunday through a prerecorded message on his YouTube channel, hotdiggedydemon. The announcement has since sent waves through his devoted fanbase.
Addressing his 2.1 million subscribers, Gilardi shared that after an exhaustive exploration of all possible options, he has opted for “doctor-assisted euthanasia” as what he describes as his ‘final solution’.
Known for his animated content and gaming livestreams, Gilardi detailed his ongoing battle with a chronic illness that has been impacting his life and creative output for several years.
Diagnosed with fibromyalgia, a condition that causes widespread bodily pain, his health challenges have significantly hindered his ability to consistently produce new content since 2024.
‘I’m tired all the time,’ Gilardi said. ‘I spend a lot of my time lying down. I get a lot of bad pain in all my joints and my muscles, ankles, shins, hands, knees, hips, neck. I have a lot of difficulty sleeping.’
The creator added that he has also been dealing with a plethora of other health issues that doctors have been unable to diagnose, including a relentless drooling he dubbed ‘slobber mouth’, brain fog, and difficulty speaking.
‘I would truly describe slobber mouth as maddening,’ he said.
Popular YouTube creator Max Gilardi, 38, from Gloucester, Massachusetts, has shocked fans by saying he is planning on traveling to Switzerland to be euthanized
‘And as you can imagine, when you have slobber mouth and discognition (sic), and shortness of breath, and a scratchy throat that won’t stop producing mucus, and a tongue that feels numb and tingly, it makes streaming hard.’
He said the rising cost of his medical bills, including a $900 bill for an MRI which did not lead to a diagnosis or treatment, have compounded his despair.
Gilardi makes animations, as shown above
‘There’s nothing more expensive than living,’ Gilardi said, adding that he is ‘constantly running out of money’ and has ‘outstanding medical bills’.
The creator said his decision to seek euthanasia came after more than a year of considering his options, and felt like a ‘natural conclusion’ to his life.
‘My existence has become one where I suffer and barely scrape by so I can continue to sustain an existence where I barely scrape by and suffer,’ Gilardi said.
He also gave a lengthy insight into the struggles of living with fibromyalgia, saying he felt like he had ‘brain damage’.
‘Fibromyalgia could maybe be conceptualized as a sort of non-definitional form of brain damage, if there is such a thing as non-definitional brain damage,’ he said.
‘There’s a part of your brain called the hypothalamus, and when it’s damaged and it breaks, that’s what causes fibro. It breaks and starts sending out kind of bad signals to the rest of your body.’
The outpouring appeared to prompt Gilardi to change his mind, as he wrote on X hours later that he would ‘reassess’ his decision to travel to Switzerland, as shown above
Gilardi added that he believes he may have developed the condition after contracting Covid-19.
‘It can be caused by a concussive head injury or a bad viral infection, which, for me, was Covid,’ the creator explained.
‘I got Covid in the winter of 2023, and then about a month… yeah, about a month and a half later, I got fibro, and I got slobber mouth.’
Gilardi’s fans were horrified, with many begging him not to seek euthanasia.
Many told the creator they loved him and urged him to seek help, while some offered to donate money to cover his medical bills.
The outpouring appeared to prompt Gilardi to change his mind, as he wrote on X hours later that he would ‘reassess’ his decision to travel to Switzerland.
‘JEEEEZ you guys okay fine haha jk just kidding!! Nevermind!! Jk just kidding jk jk!!’ he wrote, before adding: ‘Decided I’m not thinking clearly, will reassess’.
Euthanasia, which is administered by a doctor, is illegal in Switzerland, but assisted suicide, which involves the person who wants to die injecting themselves with a lethal substance, is allowed under certain circumstances.
Switzerland’s most famous clinic, Dignitas, is based in Zurich and generally only offers euthanasia to those suffering from terminal illnesses.
The country is also home to Pegasos, which has more relaxed rules and offers assisted suicide to anyone suffering ‘a poor quality of life.’
Patients are generally euthanized by drinking a lethal cocktail of barbiturate drugs.
Gilardi rose to internet fame with his web series called PONY.MOV, a a gorey adult parody of the animated TV series My Little Pony.
He now runs a media analysis series known as Brain Dump, while streaming to fans on YouTube as hotdiggedydemon.