DEAR ABBY: My husband and I had been discussing plans for our 25th wedding anniversary and considered Hawaii as a potential destination. To gather some insights, he reached out to his brother and sister-in-law, who have visited Hawaii twice, unlike us.

However, without consulting me, my husband suggested to his sister-in-law that perhaps the four of us could travel together to Hawaii. Now, my in-laws are keen to join us on this trip! While my husband is excited about the idea, citing cost savings as a benefit, I felt blindsided when I overheard them discussing splitting the expenses for the Hawaii vacation.

Abby, my vision for our 25th anniversary didn’t include a group getaway. My husband is dismissing my feelings by calling me a “sourpuss” for not embracing the idea. I believe anniversaries are meant to be intimate celebrations, not group excursions. Am I wrong to feel this way? — CROWDED IN THE SOUTH

DEAR CROWDED: You are certainly not wrong. Your feelings are valid, and it is disappointing that your husband and in-laws made decisions regarding your special anniversary without seeking your input. Such actions demonstrate a lack of respect for your wishes. Furthermore, dismissing your concerns with name-calling is inappropriate.

If celebrating this milestone with your in-laws is unappealing, it’s important to communicate your feelings. Let your sister-in-law know that this idea was thrust upon you without warning, which you find unfair, and express your dissatisfaction. Then, consider what would make you happiest—whether that means going along with the group plan to Hawaii or opting for a different celebration altogether.

DEAR ABBY: My father is an antiques collector. He spends every weekend at estate auctions and much of the rest of his time buying for shops. He is experienced and prides himself in knowing the value of things.

For my birthday, Dad gave me an old copy of a favorite book. He said it was a first edition and worth a lot despite its poor condition. The title page, where the publishing date and run would appear, was missing. The issue is that it isn’t a first (or even a second) edition. It has the wrong cover and is actually a later run that just had a rough life. I know Dad knew this. The information is easy to find, and I’m pretty sure he cut out the title page so he could pass it off as what he said it was.

I don’t know why he did this — there could be any number of reasons — but he keeps bragging about what great a gift it was. Should I say something the next time he brings it up? Having the lie hanging out there feels uncomfortable. — WONDERING IN THE EAST

DEAR WONDERING: Be kind. Just thank your father again and resist the urge to tell him you know he is fibbing. If you suspected he had been taken advantage of by a bookseller, I might have answered differently and suggest you warn him about doing business with someone who is unscrupulous. However, because you stated that he’s experienced, I hesitate to advise you to put him on the spot.

DEAR READERS: It’s Halloween, a time for fun and fantasy! I hope that any celebrating you do tonight will be creative, fun and safe for everyone involved. Happy Halloweeeeen! — LOVE, ABBY

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.