A man has expressed his devastation after finding out his wife hid that she can’t have children for years into their marriage.

Writing in an advice-needed post, the 34-year-old says that they first started dating a decade ago and “instantly clicked.”

Right from the start, I had a strong feeling that she was unique. We shared the same sense of humor, seemed to have similar life objectives (at least I believed so), and I just couldn’t shake off the overwhelming sense that she was the one I wanted to spend my life with.

She dropped the ‘infertility bombshell’

He says that while he wasn’t “pushy” about having children, he expressed how much he looked forward to being a dad and she would also talk about the kind of parent she thought she’d be. 

However, a few years into their marriage when they started discussing trying for a baby she dropped the “bombshell”. 

“She has known since before we even met that she has a medical condition that makes it impossible for her to conceive. Not unlikely. Not difficult. Impossible.”

While he says he’s disappointed that she can’t have children, he’s deeply hurt by the betrayal. According to his wife, she kept the secret out of fears he would end the relationship. 

“She just said she ‘didn’t want to lose me’ and hoped that by the time we got to this point, I would love her enough that it wouldn’t matter.”

“She’s misrepresented who she is”

He’s not sure what to do next, conflicted between a loving history with her, but it’s also filled with deception. 

Fellow users were quick to come with advice – the overwhelming sentiment being: leave. 

“Even if you had loved her enough it wouldn’t matter, she has completely misrepresented the person you fell in love with. Not just about the kids but that she could carry on a multi-year lie without batting an eyelash. What else is she lying about?” one wrote. 

Another added that he had been stripped of his ability to make an informed decision. 

“Wanting children is a fundamental life choice, and she knew from the start this was impossible for her. Instead of being honest, she strung you along, hoping you’d just accept it after falling in love. That’s not love – that’s emotional manipulation.”

Replying to the comments, the original poster said he was still unsure about what to do next but is leaning towards divorce.

“I feel completely betrayed, and trust is such a big deal to me. But I also don’t want to condemn her for something she couldn’t control—her medical condition,” he says. 

“I care about her deeply, but I don’t know if I can move past this. I’m leaning toward leaving because I’m struggling to see how we rebuild trust after this.”