Olivia Munn is opening up about the emotional, complex journey to welcoming her second child — and how becoming a mom again after cancer treatment gave her a whole new perspective on parenthood.

In a new People cover story, Munn, 44, reveals that daughter Méi was born via surrogate following a breast cancer diagnosis that led to a double mastectomy, a hysterectomy with oophorectomy, and the start of surgical menopause. The actress and her husband, comedian John Mulaney, are also parents to 3-year-old son Malcolm, whom Munn carried herself.

“This was the first time I was like, ‘Oh wait, is this what it’s like to be an expectant dad?’” she said of the surrogacy process. “Even though our surrogate and I spoke all the time and she’d send me videos, it was still like, ‘Oh wait, she’s coming.’”

Because Munn’s cancer fed on hormones, doctors had only a short window to safely retrieve eggs before beginning aggressive treatment. Using a special IVF protocol for cancer patients, they were able to create two healthy female embryos. “That was a sign for me everything was going to be okay,” she said.

Choosing the right surrogate was just as crucial. “The number one thing that I wanted was someone who was kind,” Munn said. “This is not a choice I would’ve made for myself — I needed her to understand that.”

While building a connection with their surrogate, Munn admits she wrestled with fear over whether her daughter would recognize her as mom. “I had a concern of, ‘Will my daughter know me?’” she shared. But the moment Méi arrived, her doubts disappeared.

“She would cry, and I was the only one who could get her to stop,” Munn said. “I knew she knew me, and I knew her. She’s got this stick-straight hair that I had when I was a baby. I think because I wasn’t able to carry her, I really needed to see myself in her — and I do.”

Now two years out from her diagnosis, Munn says she’s filled with gratitude and pride.

“I’m just so happy and grateful,” she said. “I didn’t know how much strength I had inside me.”