All the spiciest jokes that DIDN'T make the cut at Golden Globes 2026
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Nikki Glaser, the host of the Golden Globes, has lifted the curtain on some of the sharpest jokes she couldn’t include during Sunday’s live show, including a particularly biting comment aimed at Sydney Sweeney.

The 41-year-old comedian, returning for her second consecutive year as host, did not shy away from controversial topics. She made quips about Epstein’s infamous client list, CBS News’ recent “anti-woke” transformation, and even Leonardo DiCaprio’s well-known penchant for dating women significantly younger than himself.

Throughout the extensive three-hour event in the heart of Beverly Hills, Glaser took bold swipes at a wide array of hot-button issues and beloved celebrities, leaving few untouched by her humor.

However, during an appearance on The Howard Stern Show on Tuesday, Glaser disclosed a collection of scandalous jokes that were left on the cutting room floor.

Stern shared with listeners that Glaser had a list on her iPhone’s Notes app, humorously dubbed “The Stern File,” which contained all the jokes she had hoped to deliver.

Glaser started off with a joke she wrote about Sweeney’s boxing biopic Christy, which made just $1.3 million when it hit theaters in November – making it one of the worst box office openings in history.

Golden Globes host Nikki Glaser is revealing the spiciest jokes she couldn't say during Sunday's live broadcast

Golden Globes host Nikki Glaser is revealing the spiciest jokes she couldn’t say during Sunday’s live broadcast

One of Glaser's scrapped punchlines was about Sydney Sweeney and her box office flop Christy

One of Glaser’s scrapped punchlines was about Sydney Sweeney and her box office flop Christy

In the film, Sweeney plays real-life female boxing champ Christy Martin, a role that required her to put on more than 30lbs of muscle and endure months of training.

‘”Tonight is a night of celebration but we can’t ignore it’s a weird time in Hollywood,”‘ Glaser’s joke began. ‘”You know, people just aren’t going to the theaters to see things.

‘”And if you don’t believe me, there was a movie this year where Sydney Sweeney played a lesbian who just bounced around in tiny shorts for two hours and it made $14.”‘

Glaser ultimately ended up scrapping the barb after learning that Sweeney would not be attending the ceremony.

Next, Glaser read off a cringe-worthy sexual assault joke she wrote about Particle6’s controversial AI actress Tilly Norwood, which was unveiled to world in 2025.

Norwood’s introduction was met with fierce backlash over fears of hardworking human actors one day being replaced by artificial intelligence.

‘”You know, everyone’s concerned about AI. Tilly Norwood is the first star to be completely generated by AI and somehow has still been sexually assaulted by three different studio execs,”‘ Glaser joked.

Glaser also read off several Sean Penn jokes she came up with before ultimately choosing her now-viral punchline about him looking like ‘an expensive leather handbag.’ 

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'"Tonight is a night of celebration but we can't ignore it's a weird time in Hollywood,"' Glaser's joke began. '"You know, people just aren't going to the theaters to see things."'

‘”Tonight is a night of celebration but we can’t ignore it’s a weird time in Hollywood,”‘ Glaser’s joke began. ‘”You know, people just aren’t going to the theaters to see things.”‘

'"And if you don't believe me, there was a movie this year where Sydney Sweeney played a lesbian who just bounced around in tiny shorts for two hours and it made $14,"' Glaser's joke concluded; Sweeney seen in Christy (2025)

‘”And if you don’t believe me, there was a movie this year where Sydney Sweeney played a lesbian who just bounced around in tiny shorts for two hours and it made $14,”‘ Glaser’s joke concluded; Sweeney seen in Christy (2025)

Her first version of the joke was ‘”Sean Penn is nominated tonight. I’m assuming for ‘best neck veins.’”‘

Her seconds stab at roasting Penn involved her describing him as ‘the defiant last tree standing in a rainforest.’

Glaser was also pitched a Penn joke by fellow comedian David Spade. ‘”I just saw Sean Penn and maybe he’s taking The Substance wrong.”‘ 

She had also planned to roast Penn and his One Battle After Another co-stars Benicio del Toro and Leonardo DiCaprio for the ‘squinting’ expression all three of them often do when onscreen.

‘”Sean Penn, Benicio del Toro and Leonardo DiCaprio are all here tonight for the category Least Eyes,”‘ said Glaser, which earned a chuckle from both Stern and his longtime co-host Robin Quivers.

DiCaprio was the target of several of Glaser’s Golden Globes jokes during Sunday’s show as she put his age-gap romance with Italian model Vittoria Ceretti, 27, on blast.

And Glaser revealed to Stern that she had ‘another take on Leo’ in her arsenal that never made it to air.

‘He always looks like he’s squinting. “Leo, why are you always squinting? I mean, I assume it’s to read your girlfriend’s ID. Just making sure that the year starts with a 2.”‘

Next, Glaser read off a cringe-worthy sexual assault joke she wrote about Particle6's controversial AI actress Tilly Norwood, which was unveiled to world in 2025

Next, Glaser read off a cringe-worthy sexual assault joke she wrote about Particle6’s controversial AI actress Tilly Norwood, which was unveiled to world in 2025

'"Tilly Norwood is the first star to be completely generated by AI and somehow has still been sexually assaulted by three different studio execs,"' Glaser teased

‘”Tilly Norwood is the first star to be completely generated by AI and somehow has still been sexually assaulted by three different studio execs,”‘ Glaser teased

Glaser scrapped several jokes making fun of DiCaprio’s One Battle After Another co-star Chase Infiniti’s unique name.

‘”Chase Infiniti is her real name,”‘ Glaser planned to tell the crowd. ‘”And this is true, if you apply now you can earn 5% cash back on all travel booked through her through the end of the year.”‘

She added, ‘”So, get on that. It’s a great deal.”‘

“‘Chase Infiniti Pain is actually her real name. Chase Infiniti Pain. Which is also how Sean Penn gets an erection,”‘ Glaser said. ‘”He chases infinity pain.”‘

Glaser also left out a racy joke about Golden Globe-winner Timothee Chalamet’s sex life. 

‘”Amy Poehler is here for her podcast, Good Hang, which is what Timothee Chalamet says after sex,”‘ Glaser read to Stern.

Glaser had cooked up a scathing dig at Oscar-winner and Hollywood icon Julia Roberts, who was nominated for Best Actress for the crime drama After the Hunt.

‘”Julia Roberts is nominated for After The Hunt,”‘ Glaser began. ‘”I don’t know what it’s about but I’m assuming the hunt was to find someone who’s seen it.”‘

Glaser had another Leonardo DiCaprio joke in her arsenal that she scrapped last-minute. "Leo, why are you always squinting? I mean, I assume it's to read your girlfriend's ID. Just making sure that the year starts with a 2"'; DiCaprio seen on January 11

Glaser had another Leonardo DiCaprio joke in her arsenal that she scrapped last-minute. “Leo, why are you always squinting? I mean, I assume it’s to read your girlfriend’s ID. Just making sure that the year starts with a 2″‘; DiCaprio seen on January 11

Glaser also left out a racy joke about Golden Globe-winner Timothee Chalamet's sex life; Chalamet seen with girlfriend Kylie Jenner on January 11

Glaser also left out a racy joke about Golden Globe-winner Timothee Chalamet’s sex life; Chalamet seen with girlfriend Kylie Jenner on January 11

Glaser was also pitched a Penn joke by fellow comedian David Spade. '"I just saw Sean Penn and maybe he's taking The Substance wrong"'; Penn seen on January 11

Glaser was also pitched a Penn joke by fellow comedian David Spade. ‘”I just saw Sean Penn and maybe he’s taking The Substance wrong”‘; Penn seen on January 11

While Glaser did lightly rib the cast of the musical blockbuster Wicked: For Good during Sunday’s ceremony, she had originally written more jokes taking aim at Jonathan Bailey’s historic People’s Sexiest Man Alive cover and Jeff Goldblum’s long-running gig as the face of Apartments.com.

‘”Jonathan Bailey is the first openly gay man to be named the sexiest man alive by People magazine,”‘ Glaser began. ‘”At first I was like, ‘Do we really need to say openly?’ And then I looked at the list of past winners and I was like, ‘Oh yeah, we do.’”‘

As for Glaser’s Goldblum gag, she said, ‘”Jeff Goldblum is here tonight. Not because he’s nominated, just because they were shooting an ad for Apartments.com down the street and he just kind of wandered in.”‘

She then took a second shot at Goldblum’s Apartments.com partnership, pointing out that the Hollywood star probably ‘hasn’t lived in an apartment’ since he starred in the 1986 film The Fly.

Glaser scratched out a joke she came up with about the role limitations put on men versus women in Hollywood as they age – using 60-year-old Brad Pitt playing a race care driver in the 2025 film F1 as a prime example.

‘”Brad Pitt is nominated for his role in F1 tonight. See, that’s what I love about Hollywood,”‘ Glaser began.

‘”When a man turns 60, he gets to play a race car driver. Meanwhile, after 35 every role for a woman is tired mom who hates her life.”‘

While Glaser admitted it’s tough letting go of a joke, she’s come to accept that ‘things do live on in someway and maybe sometimes a joke is just for the room.’

Glaser had cooked up a scathing dig at Oscar-winner and Hollywood icon Julia Roberts, who was nominated for Best Actress for the crime drama After the Hunt

Glaser had cooked up a scathing dig at Oscar-winner and Hollywood icon Julia Roberts, who was nominated for Best Actress for the crime drama After the Hunt

'"Julia Roberts is nominated for After The Hunt,"' Glaser began. '"I don¿t know what it¿s about but I¿m assuming the hunt was to find someone who¿s seen it,"' Glaser said; Roberts seen on January 11

‘”Julia Roberts is nominated for After The Hunt,”‘ Glaser began. ‘”I don’t know what it’s about but I’m assuming the hunt was to find someone who’s seen it,”‘ Glaser said; Roberts seen on January 11

She continued: ‘There’s been times where jokes have really hurt people’s feelings or I’ve gone too far and I feel like I am always okay with losing stuff now.’

Glaser later added: ‘You just don’t get everything you want and you just gotta move on and let’s just write a better joke.’

Glaser’s opening monologue at the 83rd annual Golden Globes, which took place on the evening on January 11, was a major hit with celebrity attendees and audiences tuning in from home.

Among Glaser’s most jaw-dropping jokes, which she made just seconds into the ceremony, was her daring dig at CBS, the same network that broadcast the show.

Glaser said: ‘And the award for most editing goes to CBS News! Yes, CBS News: America’s newest place to “See BS news.”‘

CBS has been under fire for pulling an immigration story that seemingly placed the current administration in a negative light, just hours before airtime.

On Tuesday, Golden Globes producers Ricky Kirshner and Glenn Weiss explained to Variety just how Glaser’s joke got the green light.

‘I was sitting next to the CBS executive during rehearsal,’ Kirshner shared. ‘Glenn had heard that joke in clubs throughout the week, and we hadn’t heard it all week until rehearsal day. She did it, I was sitting with the CBS exec, and I looked over at her, and she texted a few people, and said, “Yeah, it’s OK. It’s fine.”‘

Weiss added, ‘I’ll add to that: Everything in the monologue, why she nails this so well is, we’re poking fun at everything in the industry, including ourselves. It’s just been fun.’

Kirshner also said: ‘I think when you start off by doing a self-deprecating joke about your own plastic surgery, you set the tone of, “I’m not here to really harm people.”‘

Meanwhile, Golden Globes bosses have said they hope Glaser will return as host in 2027.

Glaser returned as host for a second consecutive year and didn't hold back as she took aim at Epstein's client list, CBS News' 'anti-woke' makeover and even Leonardo DiCaprio's reputation for dating women under the age of 25

Glaser returned as host for a second consecutive year and didn’t hold back as she took aim at Epstein’s client list, CBS News’ ‘anti-woke’ makeover and even Leonardo DiCaprio’s reputation for dating women under the age of 25

On Tuesday, Golden Globes producers Ricky Kirshner and Glenn Weiss explained to Variety just how Glaser's joke about CBS, the network that broadcasted the show, got the green light

On Tuesday, Golden Globes producers Ricky Kirshner and Glenn Weiss explained to Variety just how Glaser’s joke about CBS, the network that broadcasted the show, got the green light

Weiss thinks she has ‘truly found her place’ with the annual awards ceremony.

He told Variety: ‘We all have been focused on this year. No conversation about it. But if you ask me, what’s in my heart, I certainly hope so.’

Glenn described the comic as ‘a perfect host’ for the ceremony, and heaped praise on her work ethic and adaptability.

He added: ‘Nikki is such a great talent, and I think she really, truly found her place here. I think she’s a perfect host for us. 

‘And I will say this, that she is one of the hardest working people I’ve met in this industry. She really cares about what she’s doing. 

‘She goes out, she practices sets, things changed right up till when we went on the air from our first rehearsal to the last.

‘And I’ve got to give her major props for not just how funny she is, but how hard she works and what a great person she is for this role.’

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