DEAR ABBY: My 2-year-old grandson has begun calling me “Mimi,” but that nickname has created tension in the family. His other grandmother selected “Mimi” for herself, and my daughter-in-law is unhappy about him using it for me, too. She also objects to “Mom-Mom” because he calls her “Ma-Ma.” Am I wrong for feeling hurt? I have been closely involved in caring for this child since he was born. Meanwhile, his other grandmother lives far away and makes no effort to be part of his life, not even through phone calls. It seems she mainly uses the title Mimi to impress her Facebook friends.
I realize this may sound trivial, but am I wrong to be upset? My grandson needs an easy name to call for me when we are at the playground and he can’t find me. I believe a child can have two Mimis. After all, I grew up with two moms. — NICKNAME IN THE EAST
DEAR NICKNAME: Having two grandmothers called Mimi may be confusing for a toddler. What matters most is the bond you share with your grandson, not ownership of a particular nickname. Let the other grandmother keep “Mimi,” and work with your grandson to create a new special name for you. If he helps choose it, he will be more likely to remember it — and it may become even more meaningful to both of you.
DEAR ABBY: I have been married for 12 years and have two stepchildren. My 37-year-old stepson is the difficult one. He is easily the biggest cheapskate I have ever encountered. Despite earning a good income in his profession, he seldom offers to pay when we go out for dinner or drinks. In fact, he rarely even pays for himself. He appears to believe that we, as his parents, should cover his expenses.
Lately, my wife has started paying his share, but it infuriates me that he makes absolutely no effort to contribute. Should I let it go and allow his mother to continue paying from her separate account while I keep stressing over it? — CHEAPSKATE’S STEPDAD IN NEW MEXICO
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DEAR STEPDAD: Has your wife asked you not to raise this issue with her son? If not, have you told him that he is too old to expect Mom to routinely pick up his tab, especially when he is a fully employed adult? One would think he would at least offer occasionally. I assume you have already explained to your wife that paying her son’s portion bothers you enough to ruin your appetite. Begin with that conversation. But if she chooses to continue, remember that the money is hers, and she has the right to decide how to spend it.
DEAR ABBY: The dining room manager at my senior living center makes a habit of shaking hands with residents at their tables. I often avoid it by saying my hand is wet or greasy. What is the best way to decline what I consider an unsanitary gesture? — HEALTHY HANDS IN CALIFORNIA
DEAR HEALTHY: The manager is likely trying to be warm and welcoming. Since you would rather not shake hands while eating, tell him so directly. A polite smile and a friendly tone should allow you to set that boundary without embarrassing him.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren. Jeanne Phillips wrote the column for nearly four decades; it was founded in 1956 by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 270135, Kansas City, MO 64127.