DEAR ABBY: You occasionally invite readers to write about their personal pet peeves. As a public school teacher, mine involves parents who are baffled by their children’s defiance, arguing and attention-seeking behavior, yet remain glued to their phones. My message to those parents is simple: Put the cellphone away and give your children your full attention!
I recently met with a mother whose children routinely pout, yell and fight back when asked to do something at home. They have no special needs, and their teachers do not see this behavior at school. During our conference, however, the mother spent the entire time texting. That kind of conduct is unacceptable.
The next time a parent does this during a meeting with me, I plan to ask whether he or she would prefer to pause the conference to handle whatever seems so urgent. Maybe a little embarrassment will help these parents understand how disrespectful it is to text or carry on a phone conversation while speaking with someone face-to-face. — A VENTING EDUCATOR
DEAR EDUCATOR: I agree that the mother’s behavior was profoundly disrespectful. By texting throughout the meeting, she made it clear that she did not consider the conference—or your observations—important. If you are seeking my approval to require parents to silence and put away their phones during meetings, you have it. State that expectation when they arrive. You can explain that adults are expected to follow the same phone rules in your classroom that students do.
DEAR ABBY: I have three adult children. My son “Charles,” his wife and their three elementary-school-age children rent the house next door from me for roughly $1,200 less per month than I could charge someone outside the family. My other two children live several hundred miles away. My younger son, “James,” is single and has no children. He believes I am treating him and his sister unfairly by not charging Charles the property’s full market rent, arguing that the discount reduces what they will eventually inherit. I greatly value having Charles and his family as my neighbors. James says I should make regular payments to him and his sister to offset what he believes I am giving Charles. What is your view? — LANDLORD DAD
CHECK THIS OUT: Model Presley Gerber Opened Up About What He’d Been Running From Before His Death at 27
DEAR LANDLORD DAD: Your younger son is being presumptuous—and rather distasteful—by calculating his inheritance while you are still alive. The rental agreement is a private matter between you and Charles, and James is not entitled to know its terms. Tell him that every time he raises the issue, you will reduce his eventual inheritance by $1,200 and split that amount between Charles and his sister.
DEAR ABBY: My daughters are 19 and 21, and both have jobs. My husband and I want to take the family on vacation, but the girls are hoping for costly activities and experiences. Would it be unreasonable to ask them to help cover some of the expense? — HELPING OUT IN NEW YORK
DEAR HELPING: There is nothing wrong with being transparent about the price of the family vacation. If your daughters’ plans would stretch your budget beyond what you can comfortably afford, explain that they will need to contribute if they want to include all the extras they have in mind.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren. For almost 40 years, Jeanne Phillips wrote the advice column, which was launched in 1956 by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Readers can contact Dear Abby through DearAbby.com or by mail at P.O. Box 270135, Kansas City, MO 64127.