Tom Wolfe once wrote, “One belongs to New York instantly.”
That sounds like something a transplant would say.
Now, a newly created department is stepping into the long-running — and increasingly heated — argument over who qualifies as a New Yorker. Its first major ruling has already stripped the city’s most famous native son of the title.
The Department of New Yorker Verification determined that President Donald Trump does not meet the standard, despite his Queens upbringing, New York birth and decades as a Manhattan real estate developer.
“He is, probably at this point, the most famous New Yorker there is. And he has constantly talked s–t about the city, denigrated both the diversity of religion and nationality of the city, he’s treated the diversity in the city as a problem and has constantly called it a trash hole,” said Franz Aliquo, the DNYV’s first Verifier General.
“For all those reasons — disrespecting the city itself — I feel like he is definitely the most visible New Yorker that does not deserve to be a New Yorker.”
The tongue-in-cheek decision arrived only a week after Aliquo established the agency and began issuing official certificates to verified New Yorkers under its guiding principle: “Residence is an address. The title is earned.”
In fact, the fledgling department is an art project created by Aliquo, a Queens native who grew up on Roosevelt Island and has grown frustrated with the shifting rules surrounding New York bragging rights.
Aliquo said he realized he was “being a little gatekeeper” after meeting someone from Westchester County who insisted they were from New York.
“It is an almost silly thing that we put so much weight on what it takes to be a New Yorker. At the same time, the city does shape you in a way that no other place does,” said Aliquo, the artist also known for creating the 2004 Street Wars game.
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Since opening last week, the DNYV has worked through hundreds of applications, initially directing them to Track 1: Verification by Origin.
Applicants must provide their current address along with a birth certificate or high school diploma. They must also answer questions such as “best pizza” and “worst subway station” to demonstrate that they were born in — and shaped by — the Big Apple.
Track 2: Verification by Experience launched Monday for the city’s much-maligned but ever-present transplants. Its extensive questionnaire lets applicants accumulate “suffering points,” the kind of credentials that are supposedly earned only through authentic New York hardship.
Points are awarded for experiences including crying in public, jumping a subway turnstile, discovering rats in your apartment and boarding up windows during a blizzard.
“I think the crux of gatekeeping is that people feel it’s a little disrespectful to come into a place and be like, ‘Oh, yeah, I’m one of you’ without having really experienced life,” Aliquo said.
Although the DNYV generally issues certifications, it can also revoke the title from anyone who violates its code of conduct — a straightforward requirement to respect New York City and its residents.
Trump became the first person to lose his certification. Aliquo also offered a cryptic warning that Jennifer Lopez, despite her “Jenny from the Block” persona, may be on shaky ground.
Mayor Zohran Mamdani, by contrast, has “100%” earned the designation, even though he was born outside the United States.
“Not because he’s mayor but just from his attitude and his story. He would definitely count as an official New Yorker,” Aliquo said.