DEAR ABBY: At 70 years old, I believe my mental faculties are still sound, although I’ve noticed a tendency to retell stories to my children, grandchildren, and friends. These repetitions often result in my kids responding with less patience than I’d like, sometimes even coming across as rude or sarcastic with comments like, “Yeah, we’ve heard that story before.”
We suspect this experience is common among people our age. To address it, I’ve started introducing my stories with, “Did I tell you about …” as a precaution. It would be nice if they responded a bit more thoughtfully, perhaps saying, “Yes, Dad, we remember that one. Is there anything new?” What advice does Dear Abby have on this matter? — RECOLLECTIONS ON REPEAT
DEAR RECOLLECTIONS: It’s true that your family and friends might consider being more courteous when they mention they’ve already heard your stories. If these interruptions are becoming frequent, it might be wise to discuss the issue with your doctor.
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DEAR ABBY: Last Christmas, my thoughtful team gifted me a Fitbit. Although it was a generous gesture, I haven’t found myself using it and doubt that I will. How can I express my gratitude for their thoughtfulness while also communicating that I simply don’t intend to use or wear it? They’ve already pointed out they haven’t seen it on my wrist. — WON’T USE IT IN FLORIDA
DEAR WON’T USE IT: Your staff must be devoted and wish you a long and healthy life. I find the fact that they gave you a Fitbit to be quite impressive. In fairness, I must warn you. If you put it on, I know from experience that you may find yourself immediately addicted. The way to handle this might actually be to give it a try and tell your employees that you are using it at home. It may prod you off your behind and into a healthier lifestyle.
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DEAR ABBY: My husband and I were together for 10 years, married for nine. He recently passed away at the age of 42. His death was unexpected, and I was the one who found him. He’d had an epileptic seizure while home alone. I have serious anxiety driving home every day now.
I’ve been looking for grief counseling, support groups, etc., but there seems to be a recurring theme: Young widows and widowers (under 50) are underserved. I don’t mean to diminish anyone else’s grief, but at the same time, I do not want to hear “We had a great long life together” from a much older woman when my experience has been nothing like hers. Members of the younger generation need different support, and it just isn’t there. –– YOUNG AND GRIEVING
DEAR YOUNG AND GRIEVING: Please allow me to offer my deepest sympathy. Losing your husband at such an early age must have been a terrible shock. It’s not surprising that you have trouble relating to people whose loss happened much later in life.
For a support group geared toward younger people, you might have better luck online. Search for “young widow support group,” and you will find chat forums and video meetups as well as resources to help you rebuild your life. It’s not the same as meeting face-to-face, but it may help.