Alphabet, the parent company of Google, is planning to introduce 64 million male mosquitoes, which have been infected with bacteria, into the states of Florida and California.
Could this initiative go awry?
There is potential for complications.
As part of the Debug Project, Verily—Alphabet’s life sciences branch—intends to release a large number of male mosquitoes treated with Wolbachia bacteria. The goal is for these sterilized insects to mate with female mosquitoes, thereby decreasing the population of these pests that carry the West Nile Virus.
This approach is essentially “insect birth control,” as explained by Dr. Laura C. Harrington, a biologist at the CDC who is an expert in mosquito behavior and reproductive patterns.
Sounds great. What’s the catch?
Well, says Dr Harrington, ‘I am concerned about manipulating the genetics in the environment.’
Sounds bad… go on.
Google’s parent company is seeking to release 64 million, bacteria-infected, male mosquitoes into Florida and California. What can possibly go wrong?Â
‘In another Culvex species [aka the typical house mosquito], there have been a couple of lab studies where they’ve shown infection with this type of bacteria enhances virus transmission,’ she said.
The italics are mine, as is the paralyzing fear and skepticism about one of the world’s largest tech companies monkeying around with Mother Nature and potentially producing flying monsters with super-charged West Nile.
To calm my nerves, I reached out to my favorite congressional conspiracy theorist, Tennessee Representative Tim Burchett.
He didn’t hold back. ‘Anytime we upset God’s plan it backfires on us. And we just never learn our lesson. We play God and we pull back a nub,’ he said.
Burchett went on to describe various ‘well-intentioned’ biological experiments that failed spectacularly, like the introduction of kudzu – a nutrient rich fast-growing vine – in the late 1800’s that was supposed to feed cattle and prevent erosion. One hundred and fifty years later, this invasive species is known as ‘the vine that ate the south’ after blighting massive swaths of once beautiful farmland.
Then, Burchett gave me meat-sweats by telling me about a tick that makes humans allergic to meat. It’s called the Lone Star tick (I had to Google it) and it can carry the Alpha-gal Syndrome which causes hypersensitivity to the sugar molecules found in beef, pork, lamb and venison.
Burchett (who, mind you, has appeared in the documentary American Sasquatch: Man, Myth or Monster) blames all of it on ‘the one world government crowd’ whose profit motive for shutting down meat consumption stems, he alleges, from being in the business of ‘producing artificial beef.’
Man, I started out today worrying about angry mosquitoes and now I’m obsessed with meat-ticks who are about to squash my ribeye mojo.
As Burchett aptly put it, ‘We should’ve learned our lesson under Covid.’ We should’ve learned our lesson by watching The Island of Dr. Moreau!
‘Anytime we upset God’s plan it backfires on us. And we just never learn our lesson: We play God and we pull back a nub,’ said Burchett
To be fair, Dr Harrington said that she doesn’t suspect Alphabet of doing anything ‘sinister’ or ‘dangerous,’ but she warned, ‘no matter what we do it seems like Mother Nature always has the upper hand.’
‘Even though we’ve been studying [mosquitos] for a long time, there’s a lot we don’t know about the males,’ Dr Harrington explained. ‘I’m a specialist in their mating interactions and the males have been ignored for a long time because they don’t blood feed, they don’t bite, and so we don’t know a lot about them.’
‘We don’t really know what an optimal diet is, or what they actually consume in nature on a regular basis, as far as nutrients.’
I’m starting to get a very bad feeling.
Bruchett told me that only one man can stop this experiment and that’s Environmental Protection Agency head Lee Zeldin.
‘I have a lot of faith in Lee Zeldin. He is incredibly brave and he’s smart,’ said Burchett.
I, for one, hope he has a giant canister of Raid to go along with that whoop-ass!
Not a virgin
The Material Granny hazarded a wardrobe function at a surprise Pride concert held three stories above Times Square on Thursday.
The crowd gasped as Madonna, 67 – sporting some questionable lingerie – tried to hoist her creaky bones over a flimsy plexiglass barricade.
Like a prayer, Madge – and thousands of virgin eyes – were spared.
The Material Granny hazarded a wardrobe function at a surprise Pride concert held three stories above Times Square on Thursday
Wackos of the world, unite!
Candace Owens, Andrew Tate and Steven Seagal are some of unsavory attendees of Russia’s ‘Davos,’aka the St. Petersburg Economic Forum, this week.
Antisemites, misogynists and alleged rapists.
With comrades like these, who needs enemies?
Sponsored by…
Tennis fans will be seeing a lot less of Serena Williams when she busts out of retirement next week at the HSBC Championships at Queen’s Club in London.
The lady legend’s chiseled new look is brought to you by a GLP-1 brand backed by her tech-savvy husband.
That’s what I call product placement.
The lady legend’s chiseled new look is brought to you by a GLP-1 brand backed by her tech-savvy husband (Pictured: Serena Williams at the Met Gala in May)
Candace Owens, Andrew Tate and Steven Seagal are some of unsavory attendees of Russia’s ‘Davos,’ aka the St. Petersburg Economic Forum (Pictured: Owens and Sierra Leone’s Ambassador to Russia in St Petersburg on June 5)
Mr Whiskers
Trump’s cranky ex-national security adviser John Bolton has pleaded guilty to a charge of illegally possessing classified documents.
The 77-year-old hawk will pay a $2 million fine as part of his punishment.
I wonder where the war-happy walrus hid those secret papers… in his voluminous mustache?
Creepy mom alert!
Jason Biggs’ soon-to-be ex-wife Jenny Mollen wins for most vomitous celebrity post of the year, after posting pictures of her lying on top of their 12-year-old son, with his legs splayed open.
‘Your eldest son will be the most toxic guy you ever date,’ she wrote.
Huh, I wonder why Biggs and Jenny couldn’t work things out?
Jason Biggs’ soon-to-be ex-wife Jenny Mollen wins for most vomitous celebrity post of the year
Trump’s cranky ex-national security adviser John Bolton has pleaded guilty to a charge of illegally possessing classified documents
The Obamalisk
President Obama’s unsightly $850 million monument to himself is finally opening on Chicago’s South Side after nearly a decade of construction.
But it’s an ugly hunk of concrete that’s being compared to a Klingon prison.
That’s good, because someone should find the architects… and lock them up!
President Obama’s unsightly $850 million monument to himself is finally opening on Chicago’s South Side after nearly a decade of construction
Birdbrains
Hundreds of Black Crowes fans just got up and left the band’s Tampa concert after singer Chris Robinson shutdown chants of ‘USA! USA!’
‘Thanks for the geography lesson,’ Robinson mocked, before adding, ‘I don’t know what you have to be so proud of right now.’
Hey, Chris. You’d fit in great at the Russian Davos.